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Wednesday, August 29

It's OK, everybody cheats

I'm not even half way through my 2012 1.25 Months of Madness, and I'm already at a loss. A loss of motivation, a loss of direction, a loss of fitness... but certainly not a loss of weight. I'm muddling through this one alone, or at least I just feel alone.

Mike Piazza, coach, general manager, attorney, public relations man, and head IT guy at Bad Idea Racing has been useless. He put his stamp of approval on the whole 2012 1.25 Months of Madness plan without hesitation, but has yet to offer any advice on how to get through it with great success. In between races, I've been consoling myself with shitty food choices and a random selection of beer products. I'm afraid to add miles to my morning commute lest I over-train my under-recovered physical self. With no input from Mike Piazza, I've found myself asking the wise(wo)man of the internet.

At least I had only eaten 36 ounces of peanut M&M's over 72 hours before I had found this out. One doesn't have to think too hard to come to the conclusion that "leaky gut" is probably a PC term for "leaky butt." To say that I went about the rest of my day with a slightly clenched sphincter would be an understatement.

There is an easy way out... or at least an easier way out. I could drop down from the Fool's Gold 100 to the 50 mile option, or as some call it, "the sport class race." I would have to decide before this weekend though, just short of knowing how the Shenandoah Mountain 100 goes for me.

On the plus side of going for "the sport class race":

A chance at a podium with the likes of Gerry "The Pflug" Pflug, Matt Ferrari, and the usual suspects all being in the 100 miler.

More opportunity to drink beer all afternoon.

Fewer miles in my legs when I do Pisgah Monstercross the next weekend.

The downsides of shunning the classic 100 miler:

A large dose of mockery doled out by my ultra endurance peers. They can be assholes... especially Garth Prosser.

Being accused of podium poaching (again).

Missing out on a chance to beat Gerry "The Pflug" Pflug if he gets a strange disease, gored by a tree limb, attacked by a rabid squirrel, or abducted by aliens. He's been having that kind of year...

What say ye? Should I do the final 100 miler of the NUE season or the less brutal but more likely to bring podium glory 50 mile "sport class race" in Dahlonega two weeks from now?

Your votes matter (as much as they do in any state where Republicans try to control the voting process).

7 comments:

rtleeb said...

sissy

Anonymous said...

Seems like a really long drive for a 50 mile race. Plus, from what I've seen on the map, it looks like they are cutting out a big chunk of climb for the 2nd lap on the hundies. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think. But, if it is, by scheduling all these races back to back, you have your built in excuses already made. What have you got to lose?

But, if you must, you are perfectly welcome to slum it back with us mere mortals who are doing the measly 50. Looks like that is going to be a huge class with a lot of new names and beginners. You will get to bask in the glow of anonymity in a shorter race with many people who don't know of your legend status. So there should be lots less of the mocking.

Big E said...

Which is more important to you, Fool's or Monstercross? If you want to win Monstercross more than Fool's then go short on Fool's. Otherwise put your big boy pants (And pack the podium pants.) on and race the 100. At least that's what I would do.

Or you could just say screw it, fire Piazza and have a beer...

John Parker said...

race the full 100...and if it all gose wrong they are letting you bring a cooler to the aid stations so if u pack it on blaming breck and that peter guy you can tie one on.

or you can race the 50 and beat ex wanabe industry insiders turned bankers like me.

Max said...

I say do the 50 and just maybe with all of this guaranteed podium talk you'll get your ass handed to you in the sport class race. You smug motherfucker!

azcutter said...

Ride the 100 as DNFs and/or dropping distance to ride is available for those that need it, this is not you. You should be thinking about how hard you are going to smack Pfluggers ass (he is vulnerable this year) when you pass him and how many opportunities do you get to spank a cop on a yearly basis?

Anonymous said...

That Piazza bobblehead looks like Mudman.