Dickstarter

So I get an email.  It's titled "Dickstarter Project."

It does not go straight to junk mail.  I had to reset my filters to allow dickmail some time ago.  It's from Chris M.  I'm afraid to mention his full name since I think he has a real job that could be affected by consorting with the wrong types of people.  I don't think they can google his face, so let's say he's not the guy who looks like Dejay or is me in our TSE line-up photo:

Chris M is one of those guys with a brain.  When he doesn't leave it at home and go stage racing with a bunch of miscreant single speeders in Central PA, he puts it to use.

He saw the Fix-It-Sticks I blahged about last week and that were featured on Kickstarter..

He scratched his head.  He thought up a thought, and he thought it up quick.

The blue manpurse is a Tülbag (obviously, we all have one by now).  The rest?

Sliding t-bar for 1/4" square sockets

Knurled finger twister-sticker thing

Dewalt magnetic hex bit extender

Hex bits/T-25

Total retail cost?  Less then $20 if you're of a thrifty sort.

Weight?  176 grams.

"Well," you say, "that's much heavier than the Fix-It Sticks' weight of 51 grams."

"Well," I say, "piss off then."

Chris M's Dicks-It-Dicks have as many bits as you like (Chris likes eight), so figure that means two sets of sticks.  Now you're at 102 grams worth of the competitor's tools.

But what do Dicks-It-Dicks have that Fix-It-Sticks don't, other than an extra 74 grams and (assuming the retail price of one set of F-I-S being in the neighborhood of $25+) a savings that will buy you three six packs of Happy Ending... because what else would you spend it on?

The sliding t-bar allows you a little wiggle room in tight places, and the purple "knurled finger twister-sticker thing" allows you enough leverage (w/o the t-bar) to get into even tighter places AND it's purple.

The bits are replaceable and totally customizable.  You probably already have seven sets of them laying at the bottom of a forgotten toolbox, thus reducing additional out of pocket expenditures.

I'm pretty sure if you were a true "single speeder," you could figure out a way to smoke your weed with this set-up.

Chris M would not do that.

I'm not saying you shouldn't buy Fix-It-Sticks.  What I'm saying is that Chris M isn't going to buy them... and he's not telling you to smoke weed his version either.

I'm also saying you should buy a Tülbag, regardless.  You can safely stash your Fix-It-Sticks or your Dicks-It-Dicks, or you could put your weed in there.