Open Wallet

I've been called frugal, cheap by some.

They (the some) are right and wrong.  I will pay top dollar for top shelf product... if there is no way around it.  I prefer not to do so, but sometimes my internet celebrity only goes so far.

I don't always ask for things on the cheap, nor do I expect them, but I thoroughly appreciate them.  At least those things that don't suck.  I neither ask for nor want those.  When such products do show up in my mailbox, I give them to friends, the ones I don't like very much.

Recently I did see something that I simply must have, money no object.  Being that the holder of said item is not one to ask favors from, lest you be forever indebted to his graces, I just ordered the fucking thing.

Cycling caps.
I have plenty of them.  I wear them all the time, on the bike and off.  I do not care much for rule #22, and for that matter, most of the rules of cycling as per Velomaniti save for rule #13 which is not to be messed with.

I wear arm warmers and sleeveless jerseys. 

I ride in bad weather, but I am NOT a badass.  I made a poor career choice, as far as monetary success and exposure to the elements go. 

Rule #31?  I use an Awesome Strap.  I'm not stupid.  Jersey pockets are for phones and cans of beer.

Where was I?

Yes, caps.

I haz caps.

The caps on the left were obtained via money transfer.  I bought the Euro caps years ago, before internet fame.  The hideous Salsa cap was bought at a swap meet.  Of the two Walz caps, one of purchased at full retail and the other was bought on a whim out of a sale bin... and is now my favorite.

The caps on the right were bought with my personality.  Free from friends or friends of friends, race schwag, sponsorship, what have you.  All have been worn, some much more than others.  The Walz on the lower right was a gift from Jen at Walz caps to Dan Hensley who then proceeded to re-gift it to me at Interbike.  I like Dan.

Anyways, Peter, bless his heart, designed (not made, he left that to the superior American labor force) some pretty grape covers.

I only wanted to buy one.  The problem being, no matter which one I chose, it would be wrong.  Either too orange, too black or not enough of either.

Perplexed, I choked.  I bought them all.

It was not part of a publicity stunt.  I sent him the money.  He took it.

I thought maybe after all I had done for him, as far as being a very successful sponsored rider (in the past) and literally, physically, painfully, patiently pulling him onto the podium at the 2012 Breck Epic...

he might not accept payment.  He did... within seconds of placing my order.

Whatever.

He took my money, all the money.  Even the shipping.

I guess since the last time I rode his bike, it was Sept 8th of two ought twelve, on its way to yet another podium...

photo cred: Joe Cattoni

 
he might have been making a point by forcing me to pay full retail.

The last time I saw my Misfit Psycles sponsored racer type frame was back in October when it moved on to the next dimension.

Perhaps he considers me a traitor, as much as a Canadian could consider anyone a traitor, being that they really don't have a government... more of a student council.

What was my point?

I guess it got lost.

Anyways, buy a hat, designed by a Canadian, but made in America and then shipped to Canada in order to burn a maximum amount of nonrenewable resources without involving a container ship.  They have everything a rebellious conservative liberal American might want; guns, swords, missiles, skulls, axes, clubs, skulls, bones, arrows, and an exclusivity that will enable you to look down on others for "seasons" to come.

 It's like an armor clad Prius monster truck for your head.