Friday, July 26

I've beem swimming in raw sewage

I guess that's enough about ORAMM.  Turn the page and all that.    Yesterday's news.

What's next?  Maybe some 24 Hours of Booty spectating with The Spoke Easy tonight.  Nothing like watching an eclectic mix of riders go around a three mile loop for a few hours.  Just like the final stage of Le Tour, but without all the riders asking that the 1998 drug test results be held until after the event is over.

"Shut up, drugs."

Thinking I might make it to the mountains for a ride that doesn't involve course tape or a finish line.  That should be nice... maybe even make it over to the Good Runnings Grand Opening Extravaganza Sunday over in Independence Park.

These are just diversions from the next main course, the Breck Epic.

The bad news re: 2013 Breck Epic?
It looks like Peter Keiller will not be in attendance, although his name is numero uno on the roster of 21 single speeders vying for the title of Single Speed Stage Racing World Champ.  What does his absence mean?

No drinking Peter.

No wrecking Peter.

No bike part breaking Peter.

No podium moment ruining Peter.

 No "who else is there to mock?" Peter.

The list of meh is endless.  What am I to do?  I feel like Jerry Lewis without his Dean Martin, albeit a much balder, drunker, and angrier Dean Martin.

I may have a substitute.

It looks as though the Angry Single Speeder may be joining me in Breck.  He needed a place to stay, and I needed someone to share my HAFE with.

We all know that Peter is the OG Angry Singlespeeder.

But he is the Canadian Angry Singlespeeder.  We need an American version.  One with better taste in jeans and beer and a distrust in Tim Horton's ability to make a decent cup of coffee.  Kurt Gensheimer will have to fill those smelly sewage soaked shoes in 2013.

The timing couldn't be much better.   The ASS has recently alienated himself from 90% of the mountain biking populous with his incendiary and accusatory "You Are Not a Real Mountain Biker" post on MTBR.    I don't think I paid extra for the 'brick through the window" coverage on the condo... I should look into that.

But look, just as Peter uses colorful language and offbeat humor to filter through the masses, the article was meant to stimulate conversation (which it did).  The ego of the author (as large as it is) was not mean to be spared by any means.  I don't think he gave fuck-all to the comments.  Those who didn't get that this was just a subtle nudge to consider joining the effort of making our world a better place for mountain biking?  Dense.

A simple game of chicken.

Anyways, I think I will spend the week calling him Peter and see if by doing so, he ends up mindlessly walking to the absinthe bar after stage six.  If I'm lucky, by the end of the evening he'll get in a head-butt fight with a rock wall or wander through a mine field of human excrement.

Help me, Angry Singlespeeder.  You are my only hope.

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