Vague Idea Racing: Persguh Prooper

The Pie and I worked really hard on Saturday on something to allow our Sunday to be free day. She went to the zoo with Nia. I went with the zoo to Pisgah.

These did not smell.

This did.

This offending body part that was attached to an individual who was out until 3:00AM emitted smells that were described by one car companion as follows:

"It smells like a baby changing station."

"It smells like a nervous 89 year old man in line at the DMV."

There was a stop for foodings where we took the time to applaud the people of Bojangles for their great biscuits and excellent service.

There was another stop at The Pisgah Tavern/Hub for 4th edition Pisgah maps (as required for the 2014 PMBAR). Fifteen dollars for yet another Pisgah map... and I didn't get a sticker or nothing. See Yuri in the parking lot with a road bike. Seems silly. Whatever.

photo cred: Team Nicky @Sexy Legs

I made sure to leave Sam and Jordan a love note before I left.

I think the offending penis was added by someone else... dunno. I was pretty high from huffing fart fumes all the way to Brevard.

So anyways, bike ride. High winds and strange temps to start the day. Limbs down and falling all around us. I felt as if my sacrum was at great risk. Waiting at the top of Bennett Gap was a matter of getting outta the wind.

photo cred: Kürdt

Down Bennett, session at Devil's Staircase. Of course, Zac cleared it on a rigid 26" wheeled bike with V-brakes. Makes perfect sense.

photo cred: Team Nicky @Sexy Legs

I flatted on lower Bennett going into Coontree. I told everyone to go on without me, somehow found the hole, wondered why it didn't seal, and decided to use a Genuine Innovation tire plug. Never used one out in the field (except on someone else's bike). It held up all day and is still holding air right now.

More riding, more gnar shredding, more more. Cove Creek>Butter Gap>Cat Gap... back to the car. See Wes Dickson, King of the Pasty White Bearded Hill People, riding with a small child. Probably his own spawn. Maybe just his food tester. See Dennis K****z and Zach BrouSSard riding cyclocrossing bikes up and down Clawhammer... because they live there and can do whatever they want in the mountains all the time. Stop by The Hub on the way out... closed, but I see my neighbor's car outside. He musta made it in on time. See Sam in the parking lot. He offers me a half drank mini-bottle of Krakken Rum. Good enough. No mention is made of the penis note.

On the way to the typical "We rode in Brevard so we have to eat at Papa's and Beer" meal, someone (not saying who) drops more knowledge on me than I wanted.

"I've been doing a lot of 69'ing lately. I've seen so many buttholes in the last six months."

Happy birthday sang unto Kürdt and in absentee form, his twin brother Christopher... because when you're in a Mexican restaurant on someone's birthday, it's what you do.