Thursday, June 26

It's an Evolution Baby

In a very pathetic attempt to regain my revoked status as an Industry Insider Douchebag, I have agreed to use my blog as an outlet for a very incredible and totally legitimate new product release.  Being that there are so many proper sources to "leak" such information to the public, this means so much to me.  I mean, at least twenty snarky people read Bike Rumor every three hours.  I'm humbled and honored.

Anyways, without further ado...

Introducing a collabo between the fine folks at Thomson Bike Parts and Cane Creek Cycling Components, The Thud Dropster.

Using Cane Creek's proven suspension Thudbuster seatpost design in conjunction with Thomson's rock solid Elite Dropper, this product fills a niche no one ever thought existed... until now.

"You know, I was just sitting there thinking... I wonder what would happen if we could provide all those German cycle-tourists with a quality dropper so that when they have to wait at stop lights, they can stand with both feet planted on the ground yet still be able to ride seated over all the cobbled roads between breweries.  Then I was thinking, I should probably be thinking about something more productive before I get fired.  I shelved the idea until I got a destiny changing call from Jim Morrison, Senior Design Engineer at Cane Creek."

"I was standing in the timeout corner at the Cane Creek facility because I violated yet another lunch room etiquette rule.  Honestly, I thought I brought those blueberry Pop Tarts in the week before... Anyways, I was thinking to myself... what if I prank call David Parrett today and tell him I want to get together and make a Double Barrel Dropper seatpost? Something with a bunch of pretty anodized adjustment knobs and dials that will confuse the average cyclist but make them feel superior to the guy next to him in line at the lifts with his knobless dropper post.  Tell him the guys in marketing wanna call it "Enduro™" something or other.  I bet he'd fall for it."

"Jim called me up and said that he was gonna crank call me but then totally spaced and forgot the joke.  Since we had nothing else to talk about, we chatted about the upcoming Industry LARP Retreat in Cherokee, NC.  You know, we tape Hawley catalogs to our arms and beat each other with handlebars, seatposts, and mini-pumps while shouting Game of Thrones and Highlander quotes at each other.  It's usually pretty cool, except that one year that Topeak's Eddie O'dea complained the whole time about the food.  Who doesn't like turkey legs?"

"The next time I see David it's a couple weeks later, we're in the middle of an epic LARP battle royale, shredded Hawley catalogs all over the place... opposing teams.  He's coming at me two-fisted overhead style wielding a dropper post and screaming, "There can only be one!" at the top of his lungs.  I brought up my Thudbuster to block the shot, and the impact was so great that our posts shattered and fell to the ground in so many tiny scattered parts.  It was a real-life "your chocolate is in my peanut butter" moment.

And that's when history was made.

"Have I ever told you about my idea to make a comfort dropper for German cycle-tourists?"

"No, but if I listen to it, can I wear the Crown of Ultimate Victory at the after party?"

Just as Ergon has said time and time again that their CF3 Pro Carbon post is not intended for off-road use, the new Thud Dropster is only recommended for German cycle-touring.

"We know that people are probably going to toss them haphazardly on their hardtail mountain bikes, but these are also the same idiots that are going to probably blog about the whole thing.  We'll have our warranty department flagging these guys immediately."

Coming in at 1,200 grams, the post actually weighs more than both a Thomson Elite Dropper (592g) and a Thudbuster (475g) combined.

"We're not really sure how that happened.  From an engineering standpoint, it's physically impossible.  I think David stuck a roll of quarters in there.  He's a pretty funny guy, but I'm pretty sure I could take him in a cage fight."

Look for the new Thud Dropsters to be available from most major distributors some time after Interbike opens its doors to the general public... which is an idea that's only equaled in awesomeness by the Thud Dropster itself.


Anonymous said...

86 days late.

dicky said...

Thanks for making me do math!

Anonymous said...

Late to the game, as usual...

Here's my IP prior art as of 2007 ;)

or, alternatively,

- cartographer

dicky said...

Clodgy. Rudimentary.

Beer drinking Germans don't need all the travel the LT model offers.

Following the industry's lead, I've just taken an old idea, polished it and presented it as new again.

Anonymous said...

Have you every tried to visit every bierstube in Neufahrn bei Freising in lederhosen after a night of feasting on SpƤtzle and Milzwurst? You need every inch you can get, I assure you....

- cartographer

Patrick Harrington said...

1. a slightly ragged-out KS Supernatural will provide the vertical compliance sought after and almost-reliable handlebar actuation after it has been ridden hard for a while.

2. Standing astride my bike without having to extend my foot and cramp my calf (while not moving) is at least half the reason I still have my dropper installed

3. destiny-changing. with a -.

dicky said...

I can't help that David P can't talk in hyphen.


*I mean that as a friend IRL