My (myopic and pathetic) coverage of two events I did not attend

Those two or three things I didn't do over the weekend...

because I stayed home and played with my girthy new toy.

More about that later (tomorrow).

The big events of the weekend; USA Mountain Bike Nationals and the 2014 Single Speed Worlds!

I think I'm most bummed that I skipped Nats up in PA.  Woulda been an easy drive, in a relative sense.  A cheap trip.  Some riding.  Loads of fun.

photo cred: Pat Engleman, rider Churtle the Turtle

"I have never heard so much noise. I couldn't hear myself think," said (Lea)Davison. "That was hands-down the best cheering section I ever heard, even from Europe. If I could hire the Lone Wolf Heckle Pit and bring them to Europe, that'd be great."

photo cred: Scott Kingsley 

Standing around in the woods just drinking beer and yelling with friends (and at them) from all over the East coast?  Sounds like a good time.  Pretty sure I might have even snuck a bike ride in at some point.  More than likely, Nats won't be on this side of the country for awhile.  Might have made a mistake on that one.

Oh yeah, some really fast pros that are used to winning won... I think.  I didn't look.  Also it seems something like 90% of my FaceFriends stood on the podium's of their respective classes.  Makes sense.

The 2014 Single Speed World Championships up in Anchorage.  I was way more glued to FaceBook looking for updates or news of any kind than I was watching a sorta boring feed of the TdF.  From what I heard, some people were happy, others not.  Sounds like it involved mandatory staying awake for many hours, a very loose to nonexistent schedule of events, quite possibly ending in a foot down competition... amongst the riders that were able/willing to get to that point.

I can see why some people are happy and also some are angry.  I probably woulda been in the sad category, but that's just me.  Not that I need schedules to be happy (but it does help regulate my certain "problems"), it's just that this was the most expensive to enter SSWC that I remember.  My memory says I paid $35 for Durango in 2009, Anchorage was something like $100.  Most swag and beer is donated... where does the money go?  A good cause?  I have no idea.  I hope so.  I know a lot of hard work goes into the race, but it's either done for the love of our sport...I use that term loosely, maybe I just mean "exhausting leisure time activity that sometimes gets taken too seriously," or it shouldn't be done at all.

If the "race" ended in a foot down competition, I don't know if that matters.  I liked that the SSWC 05 ended in a go-cart race since they (the people of State College) felt people were taking single speeding too seriously.  Maybe I like it even more because Buck won that go-cart race.

A true champion who has NEVER held a UCI Pro Mountain Bike License but has held as many as seven beers in one hand at once.

The beauty of SSWC is that it is what it is and that's it.  I wasn't thrilled to ride all the way down to some park below the Golden Gate Bridge for a "party" only to find a couple dudes walking around with plastic hot dogs and a whole lotta disappointed party goers, but I'll never forget that "party."  Next year, things are headed to Japan.  By things, I mean not me.  I can prepare myself to have a little disappoint in my SSWC experience... but only if it costs me less than $750 American, tax, title, out the door.

There were winners at SSWC 2014.

I've actually met this female:

Sierra Van Der Meer.  Blog reader.  Nice enough to introduce herself at the BC Bike Race last year, and if I remember correctly, she tried to help me with some logistics up there.  I'm happy for her.

This guy:

I don't know his name.  If I gleaned the right things from the FaceBook feeds, a lot of people saw his penis.  I did, although I imagine FaceBook has removed that video some time ago.  Not much penis (it is Alaska and it looked cold), but a lot of exposure for not much penis.

Maybe that's how you win foot down, because everyone knows you don't wrestle with a naked man.

I stand corrected.  As of now, the video stands.  Watch it or don't.  All I can say is find someone to hold you when it's over.