The One Thing I Want to See at Interbike

I ride single speeds... most of the time.  Except when I want to throw money away on a bike with gears because I forgot how it turned out last time.  So Interbike 2014... what could they possibly show me in the world of all things single speedy that might excite me?

Probably nothing.

Another crabon single speed?  Whenever my brain goes down that road, it's when I'm thinking racer boi, "how light can I go?" thoughts.

This is already enough as it is, so if I wanted to go down that road, I would.

"A visual delight..." if Tupperware gets you mad horny.

In the end, it would be just a scosche lighter than the VerDickgo, what with it being built with 95% of the same exact parts.  Any smugness derived from riding a bike that's nth lighter than my last bike would vanish as soon as I catch a glimpse of my beer gut when I walk past a mirror.  So logical thought processes bring me to the conclusion that I am not ready for a crabon bike.

I want one thing from Interbike.  Something we are already so close to, but probably years away from having.

I don't know who made it first, Giro or Specialized, but the bib shorts with built-in pockets is wicked smart.

Specialized

Giro

I bought the Giro bibs.  The idea of having my shit all baggy and banging around back there in the droopy pockets on the Specialized bibs took it out of contention.

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad, but I'm all about preconceived notions.

I love mine... except for the fact that slippery items such as gels, chompy nuggets, flasks, energy bars and their like tend to be tossed out... constantly.  No issues with the Tülbag or Fonbag, as they both have Griptech fabric on one side to keep them where they belong (not on the trail).

I was able to pull off all the rides on Mancation 2014 without a pack.  ALL.  On the bigger days when we were headed above the treeline, I strapped a small raincoat to my top tube with a Mütherload™ strap.

And with six pockets available, I had space for food, a Sawyer water filter, tools, a third bottle (if I thought ground water would be scarce), a camera, extra room for knee warmers and a hat when things warmed up... everything I felt like I needed without carrying a pack on my back for hours and hours.

Slenderizing.  Bonus, but with a penalty. 

You have to wear overshorts, baggies, humbles... whatever you want to call them.  Some guys don't want to wear just riding panties.  I get it.  But when it's hot?  WTF?  I don't want them, have no need for them, and would rather leave them at home.

And these baggies with cargo pockets?  Stupid for actual mountain biking.  Your argument?  Invalid.

But the undershorts are all mesh paneled, some with a barn door (which I never knew I needed before baggies), just not meant to be worn outside ever.

Pearlizumi is joining the club in 2015.

That granola bar isn't going anywhere.

Once again, it has a fly...  intended to be worn UNDER baggies.

The are offering this in 2015:

"Pearl Izumi also has a similar concept with some of its road bibs"

Doesn't look like as many pocketesses, precious.

I think what I want makes sense.  All these crazies doing multi-day events, wanting to be pack-free, yet have so many little things handy.  People like me, who wanna ride in Pisgah in the peak of the summer, still carry a camera and food, and not have soaking wet baggies keeping the heat in.  And if you want to wear baggies, so be it.  Nothing stopping you from wearing them over my insanely practical stretchy short pants.

I don't see the downside.  Just don't.  Even the roadies would probably like something similar, on those longer rides with cooler morning temps, running out of places to stick things.

Whatever. Stupid rant.  I'm not gonna hold my breath.  Wish in one hand, shit in the other, carry wet-wipes to clean the shit off your hands in your cargo pocket.