Trans-Sylvania Epic 2016... the Preamble

Get the scoop by Aaron and Doctor Jones on their way up from Atlanta around 1:00PM on Saturday.  Once again staring out the window for eight to nine hours on the way to the Trans-Sylvania Epic.  Stop for dinner in Mercersburg around 9:00PM. Flannery's Tavern.

Halfway through happy hour.  We're one third of all the clientele in the establishment.  They're out of one third of what's on the menu.  We all find a second option to eat that still could be called delicious, finish our beers, and head back out on the road.

We're trying to find a Helena's birthday party in the deep woods of Huntingdon.  We come to a stream crossing.  It's dark.  The water is churning.  Aaron wades out until it's above knee deep.  Seems like that might have been mentioned in the directions.  Assuming we're lost, we backtrack. 

Cars parked alongside of the road.  Many of them.  Either the party we are looking for or the party we found.  We grab a beer from our cooler and walk towards the fire.  We're in the right place.  A few beers and kick-punches on the heavy bag and Evan guides us back to his cabin in the woods.  I see nothing but an approaching alpaca when I get out of the car.  Like an over-sized poodle with too long of a neck.  Evan gives us a tour of the estate (the well-lit parts) and shows me how to use a buddy saw while holding a beer in my free hand.

I make great slumber in/on a futon.  I awake to coffee and a spectacular view that resembles Costa Rica.

image stoled from Dr Jones

We chill and watch the alpacas poop and pee on a pile of well-stacked fecal pellets.  Splendid.  We say goodbye to Helena and a still-sleeping Evan and head to Seven Mountains Scout Camp.

Get there and check in.  Hugs.  Reconnecting with friendly faces.  Talk about my excess hair growth.  Dave Pryor says my swag bag was packed special for me.  Get back to the Upper Eagle Lodge, now known as Nicholas Levél (long story, sorta offensive) and check out the contents.

Empty beer cans, sammich boxes, Cody's airline stubs, a broken stainless steel mug, a SRAM hat with the logo sewn on upside down... it's Christmas in May.

Aaron, Dr Jones and I go out for a pre-ride on the practice loop which ends up being a practice in getting lost.  We find our way back, clean up, and proceed to the pre-race shenanigans to determine the honorary class leaders to start Stage One the next day.

photo cred: Firespire Photography

We watch all that we can without leaving our spots in the grass.  Last but certainly least, it's time for the single speeders to determine their leader with a game of ever-popular Pin the Dick on the Dick.

photo cred: Damian Gonzalez‎

I go first, and honestly, I must not know where my dick is when I'm blindfolded.  I'm furthest to my own right.  Matt Green does the best at locating my man parts.  He must follow me on the internet... closely.

Putz around and go to bed before it's 10:00PM in hopes to make great stage one bike race.

Oh, and the Industry Nine hub raffle to benefit the PA Interscholastic Cycling League?

I posted the live'ish picking up on FaceBook yesterday afternoon.

Thanks to everyone who donated to a very good cause, and know that even if you didn't win the raffle, you won at life... unless your name is Linda Walden, in which case, you won at both.  Together, we were able to raise $1,936 of the almost $10,000 raised by the Trans-Sylvania Epic.

Race things tomorrow and the next day and the next until je suis finis.