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Friday, December 23

You are (more or less) what you eat

I'm not always the best one to ask for advice.  For instance, ask me how much grease you should use to service your Industry Nine freehub, and I'd tell you something slightly less than this much:

Here's some other advice.  It may be good or it may be bad but it's definitely advice.

I've been making this for breakfast in the morning for the past couple months:

It only takes about seven minutes* every morning, which is six more than it takes to make coffee and an organic pastry and five more than it takes to make all natural peanut butter spread on toasted Jesus bread.  The real time-saving secret is pre-baking a pound of bacon on a cookie sheet (covered in parchment paper) beforehand... that, and having a pretty anal kitchen routine that allows just enough time to run downstairs to pee and fire up the computer while it all cooks.

Anyways, here's the boring stats.

2 slices of bacon, 2 eggs, 1 slice Jesus toast with Earth Balance spread, 8oz juice, 32oz of coffee... a splash of creamer and mandatory hot sauce

510 calories
225 fat calories
43 g carbs
24g protein
13% RDA iron... or more.

More?

Yeth.  I've been cooking the bacon and eggs in an iron skillet to boost the iron content in it.  There have been plenty of studies that say that it does indeed increase iron levels in the food by as much as 16%.  Add to that the fact that the vitamin C in the orange juice aids in the absorption of the iron... and yeth, take away the fact that my 32oz of coffee hinder it.  Meh.  You can't win them all.

So, I'm sure some would say this a well balanced breakfast, whilst others would say that I'll be dead in less than five months if I continue down this road.  The upside for me has been that I'm more stomachly content later into the day and somehow I'm currently more than five pounds lighter than I normally am leading into Christmas.  That's without changing anything else... like late night popcorn, random cookies and holiday treats at work, and most importantly, beer.

Go ahead and pick the whole thing apart.  I should eat an orange instead of sipping that juice.  Skip the buttery spread.  Bacon is nothing more than death strips.  Eggs go directly to my heart.  Whatever.

I'm getting my annual physical (that I get every two to four years) in about a month and a half, so we'll see how my numbers have changed since... probably two years ago, if I had to guess.


*I'd break down my seven minute routine for you, but you're all big boys and girls.  Suffice it to say, it takes tight time management skills and knowing that you should always be doing something for those seven minutes (including peeing and turning on your PC).

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love dicky's bacon

Daniel Pastrana said...

32 oz of coffee...as in four cups. you're not joking around!!

Anonymous said...

Hot sauce. Osama Bin Laden's brother Yusef loved hot sauce, until of course he was killed in an ultra light accident:..

Anonymous said...

In Texas

Anonymous said...

Oh wait, decoy shitty florida...into a high power line

Tim Garland said...

How did you manage to have your chain half rusty and half clean?