Knowledge Bombs

Two things coming up real quick like.

On Friday, registration for the Pisgah Mountain Bike Adventure Race opens at 10:00AM EST.  It always sells right the fuck out.  Make sure you get on it if you want to do it... "it" being the race I wouldn't miss for nothing.

If you don't do PMBAR, you don't know Dog.

What else?

Pretty sure on Sunday, I'm agreeing to take part in a Beginner Race Clinic.

Despite what you're thinking, I'd be "instructing," not "beginning."

"In an effort to promote and encourage new mountain bikers make their way out to the Winter Short Track Series, we are hosting a free show and go race clinic this Sunday at 10am. We will have several experienced men and women leading small groups of potential racers around the course and addressing several topics to help get your upcoming race season started in the right direction. This clinic is great for adults and junior race participants."

Topics:

• Trail Vision
• Body Position
• Cornering
• Race Passing
• Contact
• Race Starts
• Bike Setup

Now, I know some people would expect me to teach a much different race clinic.

Topics

• Racing With Blurred Vision
• Podium Attire What To/Not To Wear
• Cornering The Market On Post-Race Beverages
• Race Passing And How You Let Others Get By Safely
• Contact With Creepy Baby Hand Etiquette
• Being Late For Race Starts
• Bike Setup For Shitty Parking Lot Wheelies

I've got a lot of mad skills I can share with novice racers.  Masters Class courses could cover the most advanced skills.

• Coming Up With Excuses For Poor Performance
• Riding With A Smashing Hangover
• Quitting Because....
• Faking It
• How To Conserve Energy For Later To Impress Spectators
• Shit Talk
• Sads

So, I encourage anyone that wants to test the waters to come out and glean knowledge from a whole bunch of serious racers... and me.

Out.