Kraft Dinner Is.

I think my approach to mountain bike skills is similar to how I make macaroni and cheese.  I know how much better it would be if I did all the prep work and put in the time to make it in the oven... that browned top, gooey center, and the crusty edges that touch the inside of the casserole dish.

Just like Mom used to make.  I'd probably skip the Velveeta tho.

Nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine times outta a ten thousand, it's just coming outta a rectangular box from the grocery store.  I'm gonna start a pot of water, walk away, come back twenty minutes later to see half of the water boiled out, add more water, come back in seven minutes... dump the elbow noodles into the boiling pot.

Stock image of what is should look like... I guess.

Directions?  Measure things?  Set a timer?  What is this, chemistry class?

I come back some vague amount of time later and either the macaroni is a little crunchy or overcooked... just like my approach speed to that hard left corner coming down lower Black Mountain.

Dump it in the colander either way.

I've heard tell of a man that would return the cooked elbows to the pot, put it back on the stove, add the instructed amount of sliced margarine, measured milk, and the packet of powdered space cheese and stir until it's mixed all consistent and smooth like.

I've also heard that man died, and along with him, the secrets of his chef-like manner of curating a $1.50 prepackaged foodstuff into a culinary masterpiece... although it might be written in four point font on the side of the box.

Myself?  Toss the elbows right back in the pot sitting on the counter.  Root around in the fridge looking for a tub or stick of something yellow that's butter looking or at least butter flavored... dump in a few rounded-spoon dollops.  Rip open the powdered space cheese, dump... stir.  I might add some milk, but chances are I loaded it with too much butter-like substance already, and it's just not necessary at this juncture.  Stir until the powdered space cheese has at least coated most of the elbows in a bright alien orange sludge, but at least 33% of it is just gathered in small clumps, and 10% of it is stuck to the tablespoon I used to stir it all up (spoiler alert, that will be dessert later).  In an effort to reduce clean up, sit down with the entire pot instead of wasting time dirtying a bowl, and eat the entire thing right outta said pot... licking the last 5% or so of clumped powdered space cheese off the tablespoon at the end of the meal. 

So anyways, I've been making macaroni and cheese like this for only slightly longer than I've been riding a mountain bike.  I know I could do better at both if I really tried, but when it's all said and done, the ride is over and/or the pot is empty, and I'm happy.  I could take the time to make a proper casserole dish with seven exotic cheeses, bread crumbs, wheat elbows, spices... but I won't savor that much more than my pot of orange'ish pasta and clumpy space cheese. 

In the end, if I enjoyed the experience by myself, no one else's day was affected.  If someone ate my version of macaroni and cheese or joined me on a ride at least once, they'd know what they were in for if they ever came along in the future.  When it comes to disappointing people when they're expecting to be disappointed, I do not disappoint.

I am very consistent at being just mediocre.

Also content with it.

Still wanna learn how to ride a wheelie...

Still don't wanna read (and follow) directions tho.