Yeth, Again

The short story is that I bought a(nother) new full suspension bike with gears.

Of course there's a long story.

Obviously, my history with this type of bike since 2004 is spotty at best.  Since then, I've tried it three times (not counting mebbe a couple 26" bikes I won that were totally not me to begin with).  My Tallboy was old school XC with a shit 2X drivetrain that constantly dropped chain over bumpy terrain.  Single speeded then ded.

My Specialized Stumpjumper FSR EVO predates semi-modern geometry by a a year or two.  It rode like a tank.  

It was ded after 47 days.

Most recently, the Santa Cruz Bronson.  I convinced myself I wanted 27.5 wheels (because I'm a sucker), I needed 150mm of travel (because Pisgah), and as long as I bought a high zoot model, how could I be disappoint?  Turns out that 27.5 blows donkeys, 150mm of travel was too much for 90% of the riding I was doing, and good components can't save the wrong bike.  Single speeded then ded.

Not here on the blerhg so much, but definitely on social media, I've shared my excite for a certain new crop of bikes.  Full suspension "XC" bikes with modern geometry and two water bottles where they belong (inside the front triangle).  I don't know who was first, but Cannondale, Rocky Mountain, Specialized, Santa Cruz, Scott, Kona(?), etc were jumping on the bandwagon.  With all the riding I was getting done with my every other week schedule starting all the way back in March '20, I started thinking that would be a good time to give it a try... well over a year ago.

Only problem being that it was near impossible to buy a bike.  Inventories were/are so low and demand so high, my local bike shop wasn't even taking down payments on new bikes because they had no idea what they'd be getting or when.  I decided it was hopeless.  I'd just enjoy my single speed life, being slightly jealous when my geared riding partners clean a technical climb I can't imagine attempting or being gapped off the back when I can't get my 32X19 to go any faster.  I'm used to it, and what ego I have left is used to it as well.

But...

This past Friday, I got a Facebook message from a Bike Source employee (unnamed because I don't know if he wants blown up or not).

"There might be a Medium Spesh Epic Evo Expert coming in to the shop today…"

Well shit.

Lots of questions and googling commenced.  How much?  Am I a medium guy?  How long do I have to make a decision?  Is it red?

"It's gloss redwood."

Dammit.  I hate red bikes.  So much so that when Topeak recently asked me for a short bio for an Ambassador of the Week post, I felt it was something people needed to know about me.

I turned the bike down... rethought my stance... decided I'd stop by the shop after work to see just how red the bike really is.

Whilst this is all going down IN REAL TIME, Bill Nye is coming over to my house to let himself in and grab all my stuff for our Van with One Red Shoe Tour 2021.  Of course, I'm thinking if I bought this bike, I'd love to have it out west... quite possibly to have another week filled with regrets like when I took the JaBronsSSon to Sedona years ago.  He's gotta get going and can't be dicking around till 5:30PM when I'd theoretically be shitting or getting off the pot.

So, stop at the shop, open the box... the red is more of an orange.  I don't mind orange.  If I buy this bike, I might be full of regrets soon enough... but bike resale values are insane right now.  The risk of sadness is minimal, aside from the imminent internet shame and verbal "told you so" abuse.  If I don't buy this bike NOW, it might be a year or more before the opportunity comes again.  Go have a conversation with your LBS employee about how nuts things still are in the "industry."  I am 52 years old.  You only YOLO once, and I'm closer to being done YOLO'ing every day.

Fuck it.  Slap down the plastic. The Dude says he can build it tomorrow morning... and the shop is closed Sunday and Monday... but I'm supposed to lead a ride in DuPont all day long on Saturday... and The Pie is coming home from Florida in a half hour... and I haven't picked up Boppit from doggy day care yet OR cleaned the house in that way that I do before The Pie comes home from a long trip to make it appear that I didn't live like an animal for nine days...

Ride from Bike Source over to the doggy day care.  Bill Nye calls me but I can't talk.  Walk/run home with Boppit's leash in one hand, tarck bike in the other, messenger bag bouncing around on my back.  I ran enough of the distance that my shins still hurt this morning.  Call Bill Nye back... and he tells me that he forgot the front wheel of the Vassago Meatplow V.8 in my driveway.  Awesome.  Problem number one.  Put the DuPont ride on hold because I really wanna get the bike on Saturday so I can ride it some before I think I'm gonna stick it in a travel case and fly it out west... I mean, it's either that or fly with my abandoned front wheel.  The Pie comes home and now our grandson toddler is in the mix and I reach out to The Dude and he agrees to drop off the built bike after the shop closes and all is good in the world of Dick.

I get to go to DuPont and ride a rigid single speed whilst without me doing much of anything, a magical squishy shifty bike that I had no idea I was buying when I woke up the day before just shows up at my house.

More about new bike soon...