Stabbin' up the pad with the vocab

How does the 2005 24 Hour SS World champ (not to mention 2007 NUE SS champ and president of The Facial Hair for Men Club) train for Single Speed Arizona?
Dejay Birtch (now sponsored by Stayfree Maxi Pads, Massengill, and Lifetime Network for Women) out training with his new "training" wheels on some gnarly cracked pavement in Arizona.

There you have it. Dejay should be more careful when guarding his dirty little secrets. I mean, he's just like Lance... he can't leave the house, wipe his ass, or even think about wiping his ass without some paparazzi getting an embarrassing shot and selling it to the highest bidder (I got this photo for $5).
Singleswizzle.com?? More like Pringleshizzle.com* if you ask me.

Gears? Check.
Squish? Double Check.
Removal of genitals? He'd better check.

* Pringle, as in a potato chip but not quite a real potato chip, and shizzle as in Syncros... I mean shit.

Guitar Ted asked me the other day what was up with my mullet. Well, it's not so much of a mullet as it is an experiment.

The price I pay getting up at 5:15 every morning to blog.

Every winter I let my hair grow out in the name of warmth, but I always get stymied early on. My head starts to itch because I wear a cycling cap under my helmet all day, and once the dandruff starts to drift up on my shoulder I cut it off. This year I decided to do something different. My last self-serve haircut was the week before Fool's Gold last August. Since then I stopped using shampoos with sodium laurel ethyl sulfate (a mild foaming agent derived from coconut that removes the natural oils from hair), and I started using organic ONLY shampoos. Now there's no itching, no dandruff, and no stopping me from achieving a look that will have women propositioning me in the streets of Charlotte.

"Is it the hair, the ear ring, or the leather vest? You tell me."

I just need to get some proper shades ASAP. Smith makes these sweet (and very appropriately named) Serpico's. I know I said that hair is a vain indulgence in endurance racing, but maybe this is the year of the Vain Indulgence Tour.....

Speaking of vanity...

This idea popped in my head the other day. Does it smack of blasphemy? Would naming the new bike anything other than Meatplow be wrong? Would it be selling out or a funny play on words?? With bike names like Mooto X, Vamoots, Rigormootis, Mootour, Comooter, and the Sound of Mootsic (all right, I made that one up) doesn't it seem like a natural fit??