Wednesday, March 25

Parting with such sweet borrow...

Tonight will be my last night of riding a trainer for a very long time. I'm heading out to the airport to pick up The Pie tonight around midnight, so life as I've come to know it should return to normal very soon. Oddly enough in the time that The Pie has been gone (fifteen days) we've both lost our maternal grandmothers, who both (oddly enough) chose to not have funerals. Yes, that is four dead relatives back home in less than a year's time. Enough already.

So back to the trainer...

Without the trainer that Will (one half of the Bolt Brothers) allowed me to borrow I would have not gotten in 14 hours of saddle time while The Pie was in Haiti. I must admit I lost interest in intervals after the first ten or so days, and have been just spinning along killing time in front of the tube. Lucky for me I have three dogs that occasionally simulate actual outdoor road conditions from time to time.

"Look out!!!! It's some kind of rodent!!!.... oh, it's just Wally the incredibly long term foster dog."
Late Edit: I just realized the other dogs did their part as well. Maggie's tail is apparent in the upper left while Chloe's front paws are on the right. Thanks guys for keeping it real.

I would say that I feel like a better man now, but by better I wouldn't mean "better than ever" but more "better than you could ever hope to be".

Word on the street (and in my email inbox) is that the Swiftwick/MOOTS frames are on their ways to all the deserving little girls and boys (just boys actually who ride like girls). Being that I am not part of the actual Swiftwick/MOOTS team per se, my frame is being held for another coupla days to add to the irony and ridicule potential from my peers. I know there's gotta be a pool going on somewhere (probably some secret link over here if I didn't know better) based on my past experiences with this kinda thing.

I'm sure the options are something like:

1. I will never get the frame due to some mystical life force that never wants me to be happy, and I will change sponsors yet again.

2. The frame will be the wrong frame entirely, probably originally intended for a midget in Texas or a semi-pro basketball player in New Zealand.

3. My bad luck with bicycles will have spread like wildfire, and an actual wildfire will burn down the MOOTS facility the day before my frame ships.

4. The frame will not fit a 29" wheel, it will require a 42.75mm seatpost, and somehow the frame tubes are inside out.

5. The frame will be crushed by some random UPS employee who drank too much PBR the night before.

6. I'll get my frame in the nick of time and race it at the Six Hours of Warrior Creek to supreme victory in a very dramatic manner.

I think the guys and gals at MOOTS are well aware of my reputation and all the bad luck and lost baggage I bring with me. They probably took out an extra insurance policy when they brought me on board and opened up a new wing of the MOOTS factory to house their new legal team. I wouldn't be surprised if two armed guards in fireproof suits showed up in a helicopter on my front lawn with my frame handcuffed to their wrists sometime next week. Well, a guy can dream, can't he?

Yesterday I wore my shirt from the 2006 E100 at work.

While standing in an elevator I looked into the mirrored doors, and I could see the subliminal message that Boris (E100 race promoter) managed to slip into the design.

Boris, you cheeky monkey.


cornfed said...

Chicked ya again...

If I win the pool going on at peter's playhouse my seaon will be set. Don't let me down.

Dave Harris said...

The E100 message is rich, and unfortunately prophetic.

Anonymous said...

"so life as I've come to know it should return to normal very soon."
-- i hear yah about trainers... people can sit on those things for hours and hours at a time. Spinning like wild monkeys in heat.
Like hamsters on crack.

I can't stand them. If the good gods wanted us to be on trainers, they would have mounted a bracket between our legs to do so.
Hey, wait a second... is that what that thing is hanging down?
Is that suppose to go in that tube where the seat goes?

trainers = boredom = not much of an exciting life...

Live life, get outside!
Especially with the warm weather I heard you folks are having!
Still sitting at -10oC here. Not nice.


Anonymous said...

Bet Tomi would not be riding that monley contraption!!!

allan said...

Todd's website has changed the stage race staus from "proposed" to 'confirmed"..still nothing on prices though.

dicky said...

I've heard somewhere around the $400 mark (for the Pisgah stage race) from several sources now.

allan said...

hmmmmmmmm..not as bad as I feared.