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Thursday, February 18

Last week I got something kinda special in the mail

Issue #147 of Dirt Rag showed up in my mail box last week, but I've been a busy boy so I haven't mentioned it yet. My second article is in those pages which means I have written for 1.36054421% of all the issues of Dirt Rag ever published. This is approximately 1.36054421% more issues than I ever planned on contributing to when I first started riding a mountain bike back in 1990, but 27% fewer issues than I would have liked to contribute to since I decided to jump start a political career by writing for a major mountain bike publication. I am apparently not hiding my political ambitions very well since I was cloaking my desire to raise gasoline prices to $10 a gallon (once I take office) with an article on underground cycling events, but some astute reader caught me and exposed my hidden agenda on the Dirt Rag Feedback Forum. Damn. I was planning to push my healthcare reform in an article about the joys of ceramic bearings in the next issue, but I'm afraid the loyal Dirt Rag readers are already onto my hidden agendas.

The Pie perused my copy of issue #147 making it the third Dirt Rag she has actually looked at in fifteen or so years. She has a very sharp eye for detail, and she pointed out that in the table of contents I actually have a "department". I have not looked into what that means, but I'm gonna have to send Karen Brooks an email and see if I can get a water cooler or maybe even some assistants that can stand around the water cooler and talk about what an awesome department we have. That would be awesomely awesome.

"Isn't our department awesome? Isn't it time for our awesome break? I can't wait for awesome casual Friday. I've got an awesome pair of acid washed jeans I'm gonna break out."

Dirt Rag has decided to go ahead and let my most recent stream of thought be available online, although I would highly suggest that you should buy the print copy since:

I will only be signing REAL copies of Dirt Rag. I will not autograph print-outs from the website.

Buying the magazine will help keep it in business so I can continue to write for it.

You get a photo of me taken by Big Worm that is suitable for framing purposes.

Buying the magazine allows you to be marketed by Dirt Rag's advertisers which means that you WILL buy their products thus encouraging their advertisers to continue buying ad space thusly keeping Dirt Rag in business thusafter.

It was already a magazine worth buying before I wrote for it, but now it is THE magazine to buy since they were the ones that were smart enough to choose me to run my department.

If you still refuse to pick up a copy for yourself and insist on reading it for free click here (you freeloaders) and read it and then click here to leave feedback regarding your personal feelings about my $10 a gallon gas agenda.

Speaking of The Pie....

Last night was her 40th birthday (celebrated post yoga class).

What did she get other than her own plate of cupcakes?

A brand new pair of ground score Ritz Carlton slippers I found on 4th Street earlier that day. It's a good thing my wife embraces low expectations, but then again she wouldn't be my wife if she didn't.

7 comments:

cornfed said...

german chocolate?

Happy 40th, nice slippers! H. will be jealous.


wv: loobs

yearningforcupcakes said...

Gee, thanks for the party invite. And I bought a pair of Old Navy flip flops at the goodwill just for the occasion.

TheMutt said...

Now I have two issues of Dirt RAg that need you autograph. I'll have to figure out a way to track you down. You celebrities are so hard to find, with your bodyguards and fancy gated communities. Meh.

Anonymous said...

ha ha! yes, i too enjoy9ings a plates of mungpies for kissings! she to be lookings very happy! great

ting ba dho

Nathan said...

I will go out and buy a copy. I may even subscribe now.

Dang the Pie looks no more than 30.

jkeiffer said...

I bought a lifetime subscription a while ago (when I used to have money). NOW it is apparently worth something.

T'MF'roy said...

See if they'll let you do some "honest" reviews! I don't think they have not liked something the past 2 years. If it sucks just say it sucks even though the companies are ponying up chi-chi parts for free.