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Wednesday, September 1

Jeff Schalk no longer shitting his pants

but Gerry "The Pflug" Pflug admits to feeling slightly gassy.

Yes, it's true. The terror level amongst the geared riders at the Shenandoah Mountain 100 is at the green level (low threat of Dicky attack). The Tallboy will not be built in time for the race this weekend. Apparently someone at SRAM heard my cries of douchedom a couple of weeks ago and decided to hold onto some of the necessary shifty bits I needed to complete my weapon of class destruction and fulfill my destiny as Destroyer of Schalk.

Just two shifters and a front derailleur away from an operational device... so close, yet so far away. Douche. George was able to obtain the majority of the parts I need, and even had time to stick them in his pants, but to no avail the evil doers at SRAM have toyed with my emotions once again.

So expect to see this guy on this bike this Sunday wreaking havoc amongst the single speed class or at the very least thrashing about somewhere above midpack with tired legs and consolidated lungs.

photo cred: Dejay Birtch

Sorry I skipped some of the details of the Breck Epic. I was glad to walk away from the computer for a week, and I always feel better after a break (even if I felt worse during the break). My wrists feel better when I'm not in front of a keyboard every day, and I honestly feel much better after six days of riding over brutal terrain for 4+ hours a day. Breckenridge remains one of my favorite places I've ever ridden a bike hands down.

photo cred: Liam Doran

The downhill off of Georgia Pass and the backside of Wheeler are easily two of the best descents I've ever ridden in my life. Piss in your pants fun down this side of death for an amount of time that borders on insane.

And the scenery? Like Peter says, "Fuck the Scenery."

photo cred: Liam Doran

To quote someone much wiser than me:

Hey there, all you middle men
Throw away your fancy clothes
And while you're out there sittin' on a fence
So get off your ass and come down here
'Cause rock 'n' roll ain't no riddle man
To me it makes good, good sense

Today is the day you've been waiting for all your life but probably didn't know it. If you haven't bought a Dicky's Death March jersey already today is the day. Twin Six is having a 50% off Humpday Sale on all the T6 Dark Site stuff (including the DDM jersey).

Than means you can get the best jersey ever made in the history of ever for $37.50 for ONE DAY ONLY.

Seriously, buy now or buy tomorrow and pay twice as much. Your call.

For those of you that are on the right side of the joke here's a video from the Breck Epic you won't see on any of the major cycling websites:

7 comments:

dougyfresh said...

what? no talking about urinating yourself?


good luck in VA. Now I'm kind of bothered that I'm not doing that race. oh wellz.



I was waiting for that video. Its still funny no matter how many times I see it. You forgot to mention how we were signing it to ourselves when riding each day. Or was that just me? oops





wv: prochsi

Anonymous said...

Hmph! Jersey at 1/2 price? Is that just for all the jerseys of blog Icons who are no longer in training?

Remind me why I paid $75.00: .... to be the first on my block, er, to help make great bike race, or was it to murdelize all the other racing media types. Meh.

Say it in Peter's voice..Dan Dur.... said...

Fuk...I am still singing it to myself each day. The one thing I remember from the Breck Epic on a daily basis? Really?

Montana said...

Why wasn't that played on friday?

And I still have your slow cog. Give me your address and I'll have my team of field mice run it to you

TheMutt said...

They don't have any "big boy" sizes of your jersey, or else I'd finally break down and get one. Even if I quit drinking beer (not likely), I still wouldn't be able to cram myself into the XL. Damn it.

Good luck at the Shenandoah Mountain 100, sans gears.



wv: subdi

Mike said...

Half price on Dicky wear...I'm in. Good luck this weekend!

ChrisJ said...

Got my Dickey deal today. See you at the 100.