What did I get done yesterday?

Not much, or a lot depending on how you look at it.

I found out that although I had previously said that Twin Six had sold out of Dicky's Death March jerseys apparently I lied or one might say I was slightly mislead (like "of course there are WMD's and we should go to war and then prematurely announce "Mission Accomplished"" mislead).

Apparently Brent had found Ryan's secret sleeping place in the warehouse, and Ryan had been using six DDM jerseys shoved in a pillow case to keep his head off the dusty shelf. Brent demanded that the jerseys be placed back into general circulation and that he and Ryan should be sharing the secret sleeping place while still keeping it a secret from the other subordinate employees.

So if you went over to the Twin Six Dark Area you might get your hands on one of the six still available jerseys (easy ordering instructions here for those of you unfamiliar with navigating the labyrinth that is the "Dark Area"). I can not see the total size amounts, but I know there are XL short sleeves and M & L sleeveless. Seriously, these are all that are left. There will be no second chances... not like last time when there were no second chances and then yet later you found out there would in fact be a second chance. Get some.

As much fun as I had with Twin Six in 2010 I think that branching out into some other Team Dicky logo apparel in 2011would be a most excellent idea. Since there is a history of people googling "penis sock" and landing on my blog I think maybe I should order some of these and get them logo'ed up with some Team Dicky goodness.

It's hard to tell if you are supposed to put only the twig in the sock or the twig with it's associated berries.

Just the twig? Not the berries? Fail.

Anyways, maybe I could get Swiftwick (maker of great "feet socks") to rip off the design slightly and then upgrade it by offering a wool blend and maybe even an olefin recovery compression penis sock. I can see this happening, and it's not very pretty.

I also spent some time yesterday trying to learn how to paint realistic nipples on Barbie dolls.

Once I realized I would never be able to do pro-level work I decided I would just buy my way to happiness like a real American. I really liked this artistic piece, but apparently someone felt it was worth hundreds of dollars and snagged it before I could.

Going back to what I know I decided to enter Thom's Mustache Ride for the Roses contest. All I had to do was photo shop a mustache on an image of Lance Armstrong and wait for my just rewards. Voting was yesterday, and since I didn't blog I did not have a chance to beg for your votes.

This was my entry:

That would be Sam Elliot's mustache (The Cowboy from Big Lebowski and Patrick Swayze's bouncer mentor from Roadhouse) on a post marathon Lance.

Of course I won the contest. All contests I enter are fixed and I always win (unless they are fixed to have someone else win). What did I win? A mustache ride from Marty Walsh of Geekhouse Bikes. I would like to think that would mean a Mudville single speed cross bike frame from Geekhouse, but alas I am quite wrong. I am getting a pint glass and a t-shirt.

Those brakes look familiar?

Well, if I can't have a cross bike I might as well be a cross bike brake t-shirt wearing poseur.