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Tuesday, March 29

All your junk or just the business?

Some of you, and definitely not all of you, watched my Topeak Ergon Basecamp contest video.

Some of you, and most certainly not all of you, might have noticed that I changed something on the Superbeast before the video.

Yes, I mounted up a set of Ergon GA-1 grips before I made the video.

There were two reasons that I just put them on my bike. Of course the first reason would be that I was making a video to win the Team Topeak ERGON contest. That is obvious, and I will not deny it.

The second reason I recently installed the GA-1 grips is because I'm a dumbass.

Last May after the dust had settled at PMBAR and the hanging out portion had begun, I found myself sitting around with my partner Thad and Topeak Ergon riders Eddie and Namrita O'dea. We talked about plenty of things like "Do you think Thad might vomit again?" and "Did you think one person could vomit so much?", but at one point we talked about grips. Namrita suggested that if I could obtain a pair of GA-1 grips from the prize table I might find them to my liking, so I made sure I went home with a pair.

I did not mount them right away. I played with them, fondled them, considered putting them on the Death Stick, reconsidered my consideration, and put them on the shelf. Months later a friend was over at the house working on his bike and asked me if I had any extra grips. He saw them, he wanted them, he ended up with them mounted on his bike before he left. Once they were on his bars I gave them a feel and was immediately pissed that I let them go without trying them.

So months and months later this contest comes up, and I realize I should have some Ergons mounted up for the video. I obtained a pair of GA-1 grips since I knew they were the ones my hands felt most happy gripping and decided to give them a go. Like an idiot I put them on my Niner for a test ride, but I hadn't swapped out my tire selection before the ride. I was still riding the narrow tires from the Southern Cross race with higher than normal pressure, and I felt beat up after the ride. I made the mistake of having to many variables on a test ride, thus invalidating the test.

With the Misfit en route and my variable elements increasing I decided it would be best to mount them to the Superbeast since nothing would be changing on that bike any time soon. It was a success. The GA-1 grips fit like a glove or more like the inverse of a glove. They felt good enough that I'm leaving them on there, which is saying something because I'm not very patient and sorta fickle, and if I don't like something right away I usually remove it immediately. It doesn't hurt that they are flashy and white... not a bit.

The only thing that would be any more dope would be some Ergon white on Ergon white action (not currently available):

So yes, I jumped on board for not all, but some of the wrong reasons, but most importantly, I am staying on board. Will I ever get some for my rigid bike? Who knows? I'm nervous about switching around the formula so close to the "season." I still deal with that recurring thumb injury that scares me whenever it starts creeping around. It gets so bad that it hurts when I release the strap on my messenger bag or hold my underwear down while I pee.

Which brings me to another topic, a conversation I was having with George, or as I like to call him, Ralph Nader. I asked him if most guys (or at least him) pull out all their junk when they pee or just the business end. George and I both agreed that with all the junk out it seems like the flow is better, but it does put enormous stress on my weak thumb (don't ask me to switch my grip either). What's the general consensus on this topic?

20 comments:

Rob said...

depends on how tight your pants are.

Anonymous said...

Always stepping it up a notch. Just the business end...

SS29er said...

Junk out

Anonymous said...

Usually only the part that needs to be out since it takes more time to pull out everything. But, I do agree the flow is better with everything free. I just hate tucking all of my business back inside...who knows what might get stuck in the zipper? Was this post supposed to be about all things you grip? Nice.

George said...

I've heard you don't get good flow when you sit down to pee, so maybe you should try standing next time?

Namrita O'Dea said...

Can't answer that. But, just wanted to say I'm glad you like the GA-1s. I also hope the nutsack is working for you! :)

dicky said...

I never considered the fact that I was unnecessarily endangering the beans by exposing them to a zipper.


Noted.

CB2 said...

All out; I strip completely. Ask Doug.

dicky said...

Sorry Namrita.

Yesterday I forgot to mention that you were the inspiration behind my nutsack.

You are the wind beneath my batwing.

bentcrank said...

I like the nut sack. I have thought about using a similar bag myself, but being that I only have seat post bags, I either need a lot of nuts or load it with beef sticks.

Peter Keiller said...

i dont know about you but i just lift my pant leg slightly. works well.

Anonymous said...

Just sport OP shorts from the 80's..problem solved.

Mike said...

full frontal junk out of the 'ware.

dougyfresh said...

I heard peeing in your pants and letting it run down to your shoes is optimum.

Andrew Brautigam said...

I think your nuts are only exposed to potential zippage if they aren't inside your drawers when you zip. Unless you're going commando like Arnold you aren't at risk.

Anonymous said...

Numbers speak for themselves. This post has the highest number of comments I've seen in a while... nuff said!

Dr. Brett said...

Business end only, thank you. Nice reference to "Raddimus" in the movie "Waiting".

John said...

Leave in Foley catheter. Don't even have to think about it.

thegreenknight said...

Business end out only usually ends up with the leakage spots on the outside of the pants. with the whole thing out the drops get flung onto the wall when you flop your junk back into the under breeches.

However there is another factor. When it is cold outside it feels better to only expose the necessary bits to the frigid air. In the summer balls out keeps the swampage to a minimum.

Mysty said...

I have Ergon Grips on my Misfit (rigid) and my Niner (Rock Shox Reba) bikes... the white looks sexy... so sexy that I need white ones...