Friday, May 27

Many final words before I walk out the door...

I'm gonna make a point, and then I'm gonna get off track, and then I'll get back on point.

On June 1st (next Wednesday) the Pisgah Mountain Bike Stage Race bloggers contest will be over, and also the fresh salsa I bought for the TSE will go to the bad. As of 6:00PM last night here's how things were going:

I have not mentioned the contest since May 4th since I didn't want to clog up my blog asking for votes for two whole months. I am currently in third (for those of you that did not make it past second grade), but unfortunately only the top two win an entry. I kinda figured this might happen when the voting went over to facebook. Cory and Missouri are very young, as in their ages added together equal mine. Looking at their votes I see a whole lotta high schoolers and college aged constituents, a demographic that spends 85% of their waking day on facebook. Young people who will take the time to vote for "Who's cuter: Justin Bieber or a kitten playing with a ball of string?" Very involved, our youth today....

I received a comment yesterday that kinda explained in a caustic nutshell how I feel about the current results. While I am quite glad that facebook has stopped any potential vote cheating, it has also turned this into a social network contest instead of a blog contest. I'm not gonna come out and say anyone has a sucky blog, but I will say that mine is superior in terms of verbiage quantity and quality and general entertainment value.

If you want me to win, you are going to have to make it happen while I am in Pennsylvania. If you have a blog, I ask that you get all bloggy about this. You will also need to go on facebook and demand that your non-cycling friends make a change that will greatly affect how entertained you are this September. Bike 29 teammate Emily Brock executed a fine example of the guerrilla technique that it's gonna take to win.

So, if you want me to win you have until next Wednesday to make it happen. Forty votes is nothing and one hundred and twenty? Chump change.

Here's the link to copy and paste with your own creative flair added in to pull your friends into the voting fray:

I was going to put off my campaign until I found out the results from this other contest I entered, knowing that if I won you may not feel like giving me another victory, and I would not ask you to do so. Unfortunately, even though that contest ended on May 1st, they have yet to declare a winner. I will have to continue keeping my eggs in many baskets until further notice.

And now to go on to more important matters...

Emily not only supported my efforts in a valiant manner, she also forwarded this image from Runner's World to me:

I'm not gonna tell you who to look for in this image, but let's just say he or she is a TSE alumni and that is his/her butt.

Also, do you know how I know most nude triathletes are gay?

There's a bunch of naked women surrounding them and they're focused on starting their stopwatches.

Except this guy:

He brought a very big towel and appears to be squirting the runners with his Camelbak Podium bottle.

Baller move indeed. That's a very big towel he's not covered in.

After publishing yesterday's post I sent an email thanking the guys at Camelbak for their support with a link to my post. Usually when I get stuff there are no expectations placed on me, and for the most part I just use the new acquisitions for blog fodder. I had no idea where I was going to go with my post at 5:30AM yesterday, and it just went to the Dick in a Bottle concept on the fly. I sent a link to my contacts at Camelbak and waited nervously for a reply.

I finally received an email, and I can breath easy. They were not bothered by the fact that I suggested they may have stuck their penises (peni?) in my bottles. Camelbak has passed the litmus test, and will continue their support of my future efforts. Kudos.

Thanks to facebook and a Stan's employee that must have been hibernating since the last TSE, I have a couple "new" images from last year's race.

Here I am looking quite resplendent in my BKB kit on one of the Three Bridges.

And here I am struggling to get on one of the Three Bridges looking much less resplendent than before:

Bridge meh.

I will have my laptop at TSE, and I'm contractually required to submit an online article for Dirt Rag halfway through the week. Something about taking away my free subscription if I don't do it, so when I post it up, I will link it here. Otherwise, there will more than likely be radio silence while I am gone.

On Monday I said this:

"Expect short'esque posts all week long. I'm blog tapering for the TSE."

You may have noticed that my posts have been anything but short. I planned on sleeping in to ready my mind and body for TSE, but my internal clock got used to the early morning wake-ups over the previous month. Since I was not going to go out on a ride and I was already packed, I spent the extra time blogging and drinking a second pot of coffee.

You're welcome.

That's the kinda guy you want to win the bloggers contest, right?

Do my dirty work so I won't have to. Keep up the pressure until next Wednesday. Promise (or threaten) nude photos to your facefriends. Call in favors. Burn down houses. Whatever it takes.


Anonymous said...

the socks gave it away

Anonymous said...

The deed is done. I voted for old man dickster.

Anonymous said...

It wasn't me.

Emily said...

I think even my mom voted for you... this strategy just might work!

shiggy said...

I still except a pic of you on Barry's bike--naked (the bike that is).

Jennoit said...

I don't think my blog sucks either, but I'll give you the edge in terms of both verbage and entertainment value. I'm in 4th place and miles behind the three of you and will happily try and send any of my votes your way.

Entertain us this fall if you get to Pisgah. A naked bike photo might be a start.

Montana said...

Living in a tent has hampered my ability to post phallic jokes every morning, but that doesn't put me in the same blog category as the Rimmer. And most of my votes are from the good bicycle riding people of Pittsburgh and WV (who spend 85% of their waking hours on facespace looking at justin bieber.)

So there. I hope you stub your toe on a rock while you're up here.

Montana said...

Ooooh I commented twice. I didn't realize you had to approve things now. You may choose one or none of my beautifully typed responses.

Anonymous said...

I hope your Dickie is as big as your ego...

Anonymous said...

May the best man win...oh wait, he did!

Anonymous said...

Again, the best man (or should I say Banana?) won!