Back to stage racing and other cool shit

Getting a certain email newsletter from a certain bike company embraced by some and loathed by others sparked my brain into remembering that I have stage race information still to share.

"Dejay Birtch won the Transylvannia Epic Singlespeed class - dominating every stage."

On top of their slaughtering the name of the race (Trans-Sylvania Epic), dominate is such a strong word. Sure he might have stuck the red gag ball in my mouth the first few days, but I did close down on him towards the end of the week. Perhaps if the race lasted two weeks the shoe woulda been on the other foot (not sure what that means) or the gag ball woulda been in the other mouth (that makes more sense). Anyways, at least they could mention that he was the only SS rider on a girl's fjork (yes, I do own one) and that he wrecked like a bazillion times on his way to victory. Other things will go without mentioning because I love Dejay too much, but not so much that I won't mock him with private information for the rest of his miserable cosmic wave surfing life.

I did run some big meats all week long at the TSE.

Ardent 2.4 front and 2.25 rear. Did I flat? Yes and no. I never had to fix a flat, but the night before we shot the STDD video a week after the race (the first time back on the bike after TSE) I pumped the tires up. The next day the front was super soft. There was a tiny hole in the casing, but a little jiggling/riding and the Slime Pro sealed it right up. Hooray for technology.

I rode the Misfit on days 1-4 and the Stickel on days 5-7. I chose the Misfit for its steeper head angle on the slow stuff and the tight stuff at Raystown. The Stickel got the nod when I had to loft the bike over obstacles all day long. The last day I rode the Stickel since it was the bike that was still put together and the slacker front end made it easier to climb with a beer in one hand.

The Industry Nine wheels built up on Crest rims took on some damage, but only from an aesthetic standpoint. Riding in Central PA will do that. I'm looking into a possible lawsuit since you can sue over anything nowadays.

If you wanna know how the real fast guys get their shit together for a stage race, you should be paying attention to the Breck Epic/Gu Roctane online chats. Last week they covered some nutrition, training, and equipment questions. This week, Travis Brown and Colby Pearce will be telling you their secrets on how to go fast. I know what you're thinking.

"Why is Dicky not on this panel?"

I know. It's an oversight, I'm sure. I think that Travis and Colby can fill in the gaps of my absence, and remember...

There is no such thing as a stupid question. Unless you're Thom Parsons, in which case they are all stupid questions.

Mike McCormack will once again be there as a moderator.

He will also be serving up hair care advice live from his Unabomber shack in the woods.

That would be tomorrow, live at 10:00AM PAC time or 1:00PM normal human EST. Apparently no one works on the west coast. I can affirm that fact as every time I call a customer service hotline that is manned on the wrong side of the country, I get a "Yo bro, leave a message or something. We're high."

You can wait till tomorrow to submit your questions or you can jump the line over on the chat page if you so choose.

After the show, Mike will be serving hamburgers.