I made a something

I did have a minor letdown last week.  On Wednesday, fellow Faster Mustache rider and Bike Source employee Tim Anderson sent me a text to let me know my new work shoes were in and ready for pick up.

As you might remember, the Specialized The Elite Touring shoe was not entirely what I wanted and two steps away from what I've used in the past and not entirely enjoyed.

Mountain bike shoes.  Slippery on wet marble floors, sometimes have enough metal hardware to set off the metal detectors at the courthouse thus requiring shoe removal, lugs that rip off with repeated track bike dismounting on pavement, uncomfortable to walk in.

"Crossover" bike shoes.  Basically a running shoe with a stiff front sole and SPD compatible.  Mooshy feel on the pedals, cleats that dig into my sole, very limited durability, stupid looking.

Best shoe ever?  The best "shoe" because it was not a shoe at all.

The SPD sandal.  Used for the majority of my messenger career.  Outlawed by "the man" at my current position.

So these new shoes, the ones that were designed to be the "ideal shoe for Gran Fondo or indoor cycling..."...

are they working out?
I don't know.  There were none in my size to try on two weeks ago, so I tried on a size 43 in another Specialized shoe, it was too big, we ordered a 42.5, my shoes came in, and they were too small.

Sad.

In the mean time, this soon to be mine shoe has been the source of recent inspiration.

If there's one thing Peter Keiller has taught me, it's this:

Why think of something new when you can just take something old and figure out a way to remarket it again... for the seventh time... just by changing something insignificant... like painting it red?

Well, he taught me that and the fact that absinthe, long walks home from the bar and stone walls don't mix.

Anyways, armed with the knowledge bestowed upon me by the most outside industry insider douchebag in the entire industry and inspired by the most uninspired shoe ever made, I have been able to remarket three stupid things as one big stupid thing.

I give you...

The Rapha Spin Fondo.

The concept?

First you put on your finest Rapha wear.  Grab your $50 Silk Scarf, $450 Gran Tour shoes, $260 bibs, $265 Brevet jersey, $160 Gran Tour gloves, and $40 Team Sky Merino Drawstring hat.  Leave your helmet at home.  You won't need it.

Next, grab your spin bike and toss it in the back of your leather interior SUV.  Drive out to some scenic location, preferably on a gravel road, and set up your trainer in a most resplendent manner.

Hop on the spin bike, have your chum snap a few quality Instagrams, put everything back in the car, and head to the nearest trendy coffee shop to regale your fellow patrons with tales of your ribald adventures in Spin Fondo'ing.

All the benefits of wearing Rapha, spin class, and Gran Fondo'ing without the discomfort and risks associated with actual cycling.

All the great American cycling celebs have their own Gran Fondo.  Bisquick, Hincappie, Leipheimer, Landis, Sting...

Why should I not enjoy the benefits of privilege?

The First Annual Dicky's Spin Fondo brought to you by Rapha will be this June.  I'll be sure to price it high enough (think stupid high, like Afroman high) that you will feel like you're really getting something awesome and über-exclusive for your money.  I mean, something more than just mounting a spin bike in the Pisgah mountains for a few Instagrams... even though that's all we'll be doing. 

But you'll be doing it with me.

Just think of all the attention you'll get at Sir Perks while sipping on a latte after the "ride."

I mean, what else were you going to do with your $450?

Buy a Rapha Lapelled (cycling?) Jacket?