Monday, October 14

A.B.E. (Always Be Enduro™)

So I've had this idea for awhile...

Enduro™ stickers (decals for the Canadians who speak such nonsense).  Why?  With the growing popularity of Enduro™, it seems like a good time for a mass assimilation in the form of mockery.

Instead of spending all kinds of money upgrading to an Enduro™ helmet, bike, shorts, grips, saddles, shoes... whatever, just put a sticker on it and call it a day.  Being a lazy minded person, I didn't want to put any effort into the project.  Getting someone (Kurt) to render the art in a vector format, place an order with Sticker Robot, wait six weeks, figure out what to do with 500 stickers to recover my $100 investment... so much effort.

So I let the idea simmer on the back burner, that is until I saw this on FaceBook:

I have to assume this is the handiwork of the Bike PASA guys or perhaps the nimble fingered builder of wheelzors at No Gas Wheels Inc.

The next day, I was out on a ride... thinking Enduro™ thoughts, practicing my Enduro™ cornering, being very Enduro™ in general (you shoulda been there), but still without the feeling that what I doing was truly Enduro™.  Then it came to me, an easy answer to my problem.


No asking anyone for vector art work, set up is just as easy as typing (I can do that).

Two to three days wait time and I get stickers before I move on to making fun about something else altogether.


$10 only gets you four helmet/bike decals.

But then I notice that fifty stickers are only $40.  I'd be losing money if I only bought four.  What would I do with the other stickers I didn't want? 

"We'll figure that out later," said Mike Piazza.

So I got my forty stickers before the week was over, white Exo font on POC Approved Blue™.  I immediately put one on the Dickstickel Meatplow V.6, since I was to be riding it the very next day...
And Saturday's ride at the Rocky River Trail was 100% more Enduro™ than any other ride I'd ever been on before, at least before everything went all Enduro™ everywhere and turned all my normal rides into just that... normal.  Now I just can't help but win every time I take my bike into the woods.

SRSLY.  This happened:

I won... at bike riding.   "Impossibru," you say.  Not anymore.

Every ride, a race.  Every race, Enduro™.

I'm keeping like ten of these stickers for myself, leaving me with forty stickers.  I can burn them and save myself a lot of trouble.  I could decorate uptown Charlotte with them, but the Clean City... I mean Queen City would see them removed before the sun sets on Marshall Park.  I could hand them out to my little friends, but then the impact of Enduro™ would be contained in the 704.

So what to do?

Lotsa FaceBook messages... people willing to "take a few off my hands."  Reasonable.  I've only lost $40 so far, so what's another $18.40 on postage?

I'm not in the sticker business.  That's Peter's thing.

What I'm willing to do...

Send me an email: teamdicky at hotmail dot com

I'll send you some instructions.  It will cost you.  I'll make nothing.  You'll get stickers.

Heaven forbid, all forty stickers are gone and I need more... I'll make more.  Thusly sinking me back into sticker debt.  I'd rather not have to as this is just a self-inflicted pain in my ass.   I don't want to make money.  I don't wanna lose money.  I have a wonderful job for the former and an expensive hobby for the latter.

So if you gotta wanna have some Enduro™ for your bike, helmet, car, iPhone, mandolin, or toaster (as long as you leave it unplugged), you now know what you need to know.

BTW: Anyone who wants to point out that I wasted enough money on stickers to enter this weekend's cyclocross race that I bitched about last week... feel free.


John Parker said...

way to keep it local....

Also can I get a sticker for my Volvo? (it's an XC version) so the kids know I am down with the cool?

Scott said...

Hand them out at Halloween. Anything's better than receiving a "Jesus loves you" pamphlet (I always used to get one or two of those).