Dearest Le Directeur,
I will not be ready. I will not have a road bike. I will not be welcomed into the kingdom of heaven with a tattoo.
All these things were considered and pondered at the deepest level, yet I still fully intend to be at the 20th Annual Tour de Burg. Not last year's 20th annual that was actually the 19th, but this year's 20th annual which is indeed the 20th. Maybe my FOMO is too strong to not be there. Perhaps I miss my little friends. Maybe I just forget what Dan Oates looks like naked. More than likely, it has been long enough since I last did the Tour de Burg that I have forgotten how truly difficult it is.
Regardless, permissions have been granted, time off requested, and the bad dreams have already started. I look forward to being there, up until said point when I actually am there, and then... well, I'll be there, won't I?
Sincerely (at least as sincere as I can be, which isn't much, but it's all I have),
So with that letter of intent, I have no option but to go. The humiliation would be far to great if I turn back on this level of commitment.