Commence Phase Three?

Let's see, how are things today Coach?

Mike Piazza says that things are looking very good. Many of you have taken an interest and sent a loud and clear mandate to the powers that be that you want me to go the Team Topeak Ergon Basecamp in Sedona, AZ this May. You watched the video, you liked it, you learned how to form sentences in just two days and then you left comments, and you shared the link with your facefriends. We are doing quite well. Some of you did not like the video... I'll address that later.

Or I won't.

This means that Mike Piazza has ordered a stand down, and we will not go into Phase Three of our plan to utterly dominate the contest. Initially we were prepared to call our people at UPS and comadeer the shipments of bike parts currently headed out to the members of the Topeak Ergon racing team.

Hopefully we will not get to Phase Four of the plan. If I was forced to, I was going to publish some very embarrassing nude photos on my blog. Don't get too excited, the photos are of me in a kiddie pool on a very chilly day.

Maybe if you haven't gone over and watched/liked the video, you better do it now. Don't take any chances.

Of the comments received, it was not very hard to pick a favorite:

Charles Beal Dicky makes very much for good #1 video

I also noticed there were a few questions in the comments, and being that I believe in the interactivity of the social network, I'm going to answer them.

Eric W. Flom THAT was a CRASH? Meh.

Drew Dillen Haha you fell off the bridge in the woods. Was that planned?

I considered trying to crash on purpose for the video. I could not figure out how to do it without risking injury. I shot the thumbs up/thumbs down video clip four times, each time stopping just short of the wooden bridge. I decided to do one more take with the bridge included, even though I thought it would run too long. I then proceeded to fall off the bridge when my rear wheel fell off the left hand side and then my front wheel went off the right hand side. I ended up down in a murky runoff with my new white Ergon GA1 grip going right down in the mud BEFORE I had a chance to do the close-up.

So, did I plan to fall off the bridge, land in the muck, clean my bike, and suffer an injury when I slammed my back into a tree?

No.


Jay Yeah Umm does your voice always sound like that?

Steven Hall were you talking into a toilet paper tube during half of the video cause the sound sucked like you? good luck.

I spared no expense in the making of this video. I hired Tim Robbins, Jeff Bridges, and Mandy Patinkin to do the voice overs while impersonating me. They did a pretty good job considering the time crunch we were all under. We did have Mandy do his part through a bullhorn, and then we auto-tuned it in an attempt to be trendy. It didn't turn out so great, so we rerecorded it through a toilet paper tube. Success!



David Caton Great video. But can you out shoot Looney?

Yes, I was raised on guns and I could probably best her in target practice. In a duel? Dunno, we didn't do too much of that in rural Ohio.


Fort James Gunnar did say you were overrated! (and to stop calling him "Old Gunnar" and the like. Whatsupwithdat??

Gunnar knows that I am overrated, but that is because his advanced years have given him infinite wisdom (which he rarely chooses to utilize). I've never called him "Old Gunnar" ... it was Old Man Shogren. Gerry "The Pflug" Pflug came up with that term when he used to deliver Gunnar's newspaper as a young boy. When I asked The Pflug about the experience he said, "He was always saying things like "Get outta my yard" and "Boy, you got a purty mouth."" Who knew that years later that pretty mouth would be eating people?


Mark Gullett When did you take the training wheels off?

I prefer to call them training enhancers. Whatever.