Skinromper™ Dreams

You may remember me begging people to order a Faster Mustache "skinsuit" (to winsuit, natch) in order for us to make the minimums.

We did... mebbe.

At least we were close enough that Safetti agreed to make them for us, the select few who think a Skinromper™ is a must-have piece of cycling kit.  I consider myself one of those individuals.  We'd tried to get them ordered once before in the past, but it just didn't make the numbers we needed.  I got desperate enough that I was looking at impractically priced black Skinrompers™ just this past November.  I am no longer a sad man (at least in regards to the acquisition of said Skinromper™).

There are two things I wanted in a Skinromper™:

1. Pockets

2. A certain lack of sleeves

The pocket thing is getting easier to obtain nowadays.  More and more people are seeing the feasibility of Skinrompers™ for cycle sporting, and with the addition of a few pockets, they become even more practical.  They're not just for cyclo-ross and tarck bike racing anymore.

The lack of sleeves is a harder thing to attain.  Unless I wanted a V-neck cut tri-suit, it just wasn't out there.  Meh.  What is it with people and their irrational desire to cover their shoulders with extraneous textiles?

I figured if I got the Faster Mustache Skinromper™, I would take the chance of screwing up a $120 piece of kit be de-sleeving it myself.

Then I got it in my hands.

Hmmmmmmmmm...

The material was very different from a normal jersey.  The cut, seams, and panels... all foreign to me from any of my previous experiences in amateur cycle kit modifications.  The risk VS reward was heavily considered for at least two weeks.

Finally, I realized that I would never wear it as-is, what with its Euro-length sleevage.  I decided to take it to a professional.  What followed was an awkward conversation with an older Asian seamstress who I'm pretty sure has never had an adult hand her a stretchy adult-sized onesie for the removal of sleeves.

I left her shop with a queasy feeling in my stomach that was put there with lots of nods and "ohs" and "yes" and "okays."  I really didn't know if she understood what I was looking for, but since I wasn't going to wear it with sleeves anyways...

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Long story made even longer, she made my dreams come true.

photo cred and directed by Nia

Keep in mind, I thought I'd be closer to my pre-TSE weight of >123lbs when I wore this out and about.   I did put on some superfluous fatty Dickmeat since then, but also some useful muscle mass, so whatever.

There was still one issue tho.  I had to make one slight alteration of my own.

The three pockets on the back were too tiny.  I couldn't fit my Tülbag in there, and that's pretty much the one thing I need to carry.  Having dealt with this issue on a tiny Mickey Mouse jersey my dad bought at an auction when he purchased the mannequin that was wearing it, I knew what had to be done.  I carefully ripped the seam from between two of the pockets and made then into one larger pocket.

There's room for my Ziplock bag of Tummy Gummies in the far left pocket and my Tülbag in the right.  Bueno.

The only downside right now is that I'm used to running a Far End Gear single ear Shortbud with a 15" cord that allows me to clip it to my bib strap.  Now there's nothing for me to clip my Shuffle to, so I tried to sew in a extraneous piece of Lycra where it could be attached, but it was a fail on at least two counts.

There are these goofy little interior pockets inside my Skinromper™ tho:

So mebbe I get the standard XDU™ Single Earphone with a 42" cord and wad all the excess into the pocket or get the Shortbud with a 22" cord and a mic I'll never need?

I got until the Breck Epic to sort it out, being that it's the first time I'm gonna break out the Skinromper™ for a race type thing, even tho I'm hardly racing in a competitive sense out there.  Have Skinromper™, will travel.

Thinking I'm going to wear it on a bike ride somewhere this weekend first tho.  I've never actually worn a properly fitting Skinromper™, just my ironically-too-big Make 7 Up Yours that I got at a swap meet for $10.

It was a thing of beauty, but I can't wait to properly Skinromp™ this weekend.

I vibrate.