No ORAMM today??

As much as I'd like to continue on with the ORAMM theme some things just take precedence at this time. Endurance racing phenom and hair gel enthusiast Jeremiah Bishop was injured in stage three of the Intermontane Challenge the other day. This is from MTBRaceNews.com:

Initial reports indicate that Bishop finished the stage but had to be taken to hospital shortly after where he was diagnosed with compression fractures of his T4 and T5 vertebrae as reported on the Monavie team web site. The injury to his spinal column did not affect his neurologic function.

Acording to the MonaVie/Cannondale site "Jeremiah will likely be out of action for a while, including the Leadville 100 which was a major focus". This means he will be missing the big throwdown at the Wiens/Lance Leadville 100 (MV/C site) and he may even miss the Marathon Worlds. I wonder who's gonna fill in his shoes and travel to Austria with Harlan to represent the US and A?

Oh, I know.....

Pick me, pick me!!!!

Get well soon JB.

In other news....

A coupla days ago a cyclist died in Charlotte when he blew a stop sign and hit a car. While this is sad and was certainly quite avoidable, at least it makes a great news story for the local paper. They seem to like to stir the pot whenever a cyclist dies (I think people die in Charlotte all the time w/o it necessarily making the paper). Luckily some intelligent person was quick to point out the major issue with cyclists in the Queen City.

unclegeorge wrote on 07/30/2009 07:34:45 AM:

It is a wonder that one of those downtown bike delivery idiots hasn't gotten squashed yet. The police ought to write them tickets every time they run lights, cross over double yellow lines, etc...

It's not every day your profession gets called out in the local paper. Luckily Uncle George has figured out that the 8-9 bike messengers... sorry, bike delivery idiots (half of which are just part timers) are such a nuisance in the uptown. Nevermind the people speeding through town, running red lights, making illegal turns, driving down bike lanes, sight seeing, texting, talking on cell phones, reading the paper, doing crosswords, applying much needed make up, stopping in no stopping zones, parking in no parking zones, and generally mindlessly operating two ton vehicles. Forget the pedestrians jaywalking across the street that I have personally seen hit by cars as they ignorantly shuffle across the street unaware that the rest of the world doesn't yield when you're in a hurry to get to Bojangles.

Fjear me, I am the new Lone Rider of the Apocalypse.

BTW:

ORAMM!!!

Start sending thos emails to USACycling letting them know that Team Dicky needs to represent in Austria next month. I may (will) not get on the podium, but I'll have a crak-a-lackin' time. Yeah, I know they got rules, but I'm a bike messenger, so rules don't apply to me.

So it's gonna be like that, is it?

Checking out my stats over the last few days it would seem as if ORAMM really is the most important event on the international cycling calender. I had noticed some hits coming from Twitter in the last few days, but unfortunately I am not Twitter savvy. This morning I actually got a hit from a Twitter link that even I, as unsavvy as I am, was able to read and decipher (Twitter folks speak in code quite a bit).

Just read http://bit.ly/11G0ZO (guy who got Geoff at ORAMM) site. If only Geoff's did not work so much. Sorry buddy! Next year is all you!

3:21 PM Jul 28th from web

cizzard

Geoff had a job and still took second place? Does this mean next year he might quit his job next year to focus on ORAMM? Am I gonna have to follow suit? Will our rivalry reach the Contador/Armstrong level in 2010? Will the tifosi camp out for days on Curtis Creek road just to spur us on and run next to us in their underwear? Are Bob Roll, Phil Ligget, and Paul Sherwin gonna skip out on the Tour a day early to commentate on ORAMM for VS TV? Will the 2010 edition of ORAMM be a bigger event than Armegeddon?

Then there was this reply:

Oh... team effort here as well for the mission 2010 for Geoff!

3:22 PM Jul 28th from web

Team effort? Did I forget to mention that Geoff has been linked to Carmichael Training Systems? Isn't having a coach or perhaps even being a coach the single speed equivalent of doping? Will he be Fit, Fast and Powerful in (only) Six Hours a Week? And a team effort? Will he have domestiques going back to the team car on Curtis Creek Road to fetch his water? Soigneurs at each aid station offering him a mussette bag full of paninis and tarts? Could he actually have a directeur sportif watching the live GPS tracking and communicating with him VIA race radios?

Looks like I better hit up MOOTS next year for a big budget ORAMM. We're not gonna win this thing for under $75,000. Of course a significant portion of that budget will be spent sending me to Fat Camp, but if that's what it takes to win I'll do it for "the team". I'll get the whole team of Dick Supporters on board... see if Industry Nine can get me some plaid rims (plaid is the fastest color in the universe).

I'll work on Cane Creek to develop a headset using transparent aluminum and maybe the folks at Backcountry Research can stretch the limits of strap technology and produce a Super Epic Awesome Strap over the winter. We (my team) will stop at nothing in order to win at ORAMM next year (assuming I enter it).

And to you Geoff, my nemesis, my El Guappo, my Moriarty, my Sylvester the Cat... in the words of Ralph Kramden: "I've been noticing you noticing me Norton. How would you like to... No, that's not the quote I wanted.

Dang it.

When you get that funny feeling that you're being watched over the next twelve months know that it is me watching you Geoff... well me or the FBI anyways.

So here's the part where I pick my ORAMM performance apart....

My abs hurt. I don't know what that's about. I've never felt like this after a race before, but it's like I did 5,000 crunches Sunday. WTF? Maybe it's from trying to suck in my gut on the podium.

With the results being published Monday afternoon I've had plenty of time to think about the final outcome. To gain a true grasp on the topic one must understand my ORAMM history.

2004: 1st place single speed... no other info available as apparently the interweb didn't exist back then. The full results are on a stone tablet kept in a museum in Old Fort.

2005: 2nd place single speed with a time of 6:45

2006: I skipped it as it interfered with the Wilderness 101/NUE Series and the Race Face/Trans Rockies dealio.

2007: 1st place single speed - 9th place overall - 45 minutes behind overall winner Harlan Price on a slightly shortened course - finished in 5:40:30

2008: 1st place single speed - 12th overall - @55 minutes behind Sam Koerber (who beat J. Bishop's record that year) - finished in 5:51:05

and now 2009...

1st place single speed - 19th overall - @1:04 minutes behind new record holder Thomas Turner - finished in 5:56:06

Obviously I'm slipping back in the overall. This has a lot to do with the quality of riders at the top of the field. There's just a shit ton of strong guys showing up for this race, so I'm not gonna beat myself up over that (too much).

I am going to beat myself up on my overall time. I was hoping to better my time by more than eleven minutes and break the 5:40 mark. The choo-choo train did hold me up for a spell, but not for seventeen minutes, and not even for the five minutes I was slower than last year. I felt like I was moving at a good clip this go around, but maybe I was feeling good relative to how I was feeling a few months ago when my iron levels were at an all time low and my hematocrit was somewhere around 39.something. Maybe my expectations were just too high considering that my numbers (iron level, hematocrit, etc.) are still slightly below that of the average couch potato. Maybe it was the extra weight holding me back on the climbs. What did I weigh last year? Six pounds less?? Ten??? Maybe...

What sucks the most is that I stress out way too much about ORAMM. I think about it all year, it consumes my brain in the weeks that lead up to it, and it's all I can think about when the day gets really close at hand. The time I spend on the bike is some of the most stressful racing I do all year. I was hoping that either I would get second place or at least break 5:40 so maybe I could take next year off with no regrets. Now I'm not sure what to do. I guess maybe it's okay that I get a little out of sorts since it is the most important race on the international cycling calender.

When I say I'd like to skip it for awhile, don't get me wrong. ORAMM is a great race, and I'm fortunate to have such an awesome event less than 2 hours from my house. My problem is a monster of my own creation. If I come back next year I'm either going to have to go into a cryogenic state in May only to be thawed out the day before the race or spend some time in a Buddhist monastery in Nepal this winter to learn how to chill. I've heard good things about the Wu Tang Monastery...

So, will I be back next year? Hard to say. It would have been nice to walk away for a year or two, but would I rather come back and chase 5:40 and deal with all the self imposed stress it would entail??

All awesome action photos are from Team Hoffenchard's very own Kelly Smith (or maybe her wife Eric).

ORAMM 2009: The full story

I had decided some time back that I was going into this year's ORAMM with a new attitude. You see, the last two years have been kinda the same experience for me; I mark the riders early on that get away from me in the opening five or so miles, then I chase them for the next twenty miles feeling sorry for myself as I can't seem to find them, eventually I catch them all before I finish the nine mile climb to the parkway, and then I spend the last twenty seven miles looking over my shoulder. Not this year.

It is good to be king.

I was going to do my best to start with my blinders on paying no attention to who was getting out in front of me figuring I would find them later if it was meant to be. On the five mile paved roll-out from town I noticed Fisher 29'er Crew rider Adam Dewitt was close at hand as we both approached the base of the switchbacks that climb the backside of Kitsuma. In my attempt to hike at the pace that the top forty or so geared riders were riding I tripped on a root and landed on my left knee which was freshly de-scabbed from the Breck Epic. I remounted my bike, but a few switchbacks later I clumsily not-negotiated a rooty/rocky section of the climb and shoved my other knee into something sharp'ish in my cockpit.

First I noticed the blood on my bike.

Then I noticed that blood was running down to my socks on both legs. Keep in mind this all happened on the first climb.

Ain't we a pair, raggedy man?

The injury to my right knee looked like someone was serving me up for an Alive style Thanksgiving dinner. I thought it was just a scratch at first, but as I pedaled along I noticed a flap of skin that flopped open when I reached the top of my pedal stroke. I was looking the part of the epic mountain biker, but it looked like I was trying too hard.

So anyways, I was busy making great bike race, and I noticed that my Fisher friend was dropping off the pace. When I hit the first descent down Kitsuma (we go down it later at the end of the race) there was the typical carnage everywhere. Riders down, laying in the laurel, laying in the trail, falling off switchbacks, scrambling to get back on their bikes... there are so many things that make ORAMM worth doing. While hitting some of the bumpier sections at top speed one of my water bottles decided to push the EJECT button and tumbled down into the dirt. I considered leaving it, but since it was still traveling down the trail with me in an effort to continue the race on its own I stopped and picked it up as it came rolling along. About two hundred yards further down the trail the bottle once again decided it no longer wanted to join me for the ride, but this time instead of rolling down the trail it shot off into the abyss that lay to my left never to be seen again.

So now I'm running down the possible scenarios. Looks like I'm gonna have to stop and refill at Aid Station One as I'll never make it the whole twenty five miles to Aid Station Two on just one bottle. As I came flying out of the woods though my situation changed. Blalock (self proclaimed Industry Nine bitch with an easy to misspell name) was standing at the bottom of the downhill with a Coke in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. Without thinking (in the environmental sense) I grabbed the bottled water, and when I hit the pavement I took my hands off the bars and filled my more steadfast bottle to the top. Now there would be no stopping at Aid One and no losing time. Sorry earth. At least I saw my good friend Nathan at the first aid station, and I tossed him the empty plastic container knowing that he too loves the earth and would make sure my refuse makes it to the recycling bin.

So onto Aid Station Two I felt like I was riding as if I was securely in the lead. Well maybe not "securely", but at least just in the lead, and the race was mine to lose. I hiked up the switchbacks to Star Gap, bombed the backside descent, flew up the grassy road of death, and hung it out on the loose double track descent into Aid Station Two. I screamed for drop bag number 66, and was out of there faster than Jeremiah Bishop through a goose.

Now starts the long nine mile climb on Curtis Creek Road up to the parkway. Since I had ridden this section just a week ago I had timed the last forty minute section so I would know exactly where I was on the climb and just how much longer I would have to go to the top. I don't know how far I was into the climb before race promoter Todd Branham came at me down the road in his pickup truck. "He's just up there ahead of you" he yelled out the window.

Huh??

"Who's just up there ahead of me?" I politely queried.

"Geoffrey Bergmark" Todd replied.

Shit...what the...shit.

Back to the old game plan, I guess.

I hunkered down and picked up the pace slightly. Before I knew it I could see the tell tale signs of a single speeder ahead... you know, the guy standing on the pedals and grinding up a climb in a really stupid gear. I saw Geoffrey look back to see me closing in, and his pace lifted a bit. As I passed by Gabe from Smoke bikes who was spectating from the side of the road he yelled out "You've gained at least five minutes on him".

At least??

He was ahead of me by more than five minutes at one point? Jeesh. I watched as it seemed like Geoffrey lifted his pace a few more times, and I started thinking that second place wouldn't be that bad. On my iPod Axl Rose was screaming "You know where the f*#k you are? You're in the jungle baby. Wake up, wake up... time to die". That seemed like my cue, so I figured I'd give it a go since Axl told me it was "time to die". I closed down the gap a lot sooner than I expected, and pulled in right behind him. He looked over his shoulder, and I waved and said "Hello".

Geoffrey responded by accelerating, and I just sat in and kept up the same pace. He sat back down, and this time when I closed the gap I rode up beside him. I looked at my watch and saw that we were six minutes from the top, so I decided I would give it everything I had for six minutes. When I went off there was no response. I kept going at it and shortly after that I caught up to Wes Dickson (the King of Pisgah). As I rode by Wes I gave him a quick Contador fingerbang*, a little revenge for his team besting mine at PMBAR back in May. I rode on to the top of the climb and skipped the aid station to get right to the long gravel descent.

I hung it out as best as I could, but at the bottom the road flattens out for awhile. I know this is where a bigger rider could probably catch me, and that's just what Geoffrey did. I was back in his gunsights right before the road started ramping up for our second trip up to the Parkway, so when the climbing started again I kicked up the speed a bit (looking over my shoulder the whole time). I dropped him back out of sight, but the rest of the race was still on my mind.

There were still two big descents left in the race. Geoffrey is from Hendersonville (near the mountains), and he had a squishy fork on his big wheeled Spot, so I had to worry about him catching me on the way down Heartbreak or Kitsuma. I decided I would go just a little faster than normal on the way down and ride well beyond my comfortability level hoping for the best. On the way down Heartbreak I went back and forth with a few geared squishy riders, but Geoffrey never came up from behind.

One long climb back to the top of Kitsuma punctuated with a repeat of the most dangerous hike-a-bike known to man and I was onto the last descent. I got held up by some guy on little wheels, but I made the pass in the name of win-or-die racing. Once I got back on the last few paved miles back to town I about broke my neck looking over my shoulder every three seconds since it's my worst nightmare that I might lose the race on the gradual paved descent because I'm not heavy enough to coast faster than the average bear.

On the way back into town I rolled up to a railroad crossing that couldn't be crossed due to the large train that was passing by. Visions of the 2006 Paris Roubaix train incident danced in my head, and I kept looking back down the road for Geoffrey, but the end of the train came before he did. I came into town in a most uneventful manner, 19th place overall and 1st place single speed.

More thoughts tomorrow... and if you're lucky, all week. The results are up, so expect some over analyzing in the near future.

Gee, I hope those other guys won't notice that I farted.

*Bike Snob's term, not mine.

I'm a zombie

Since I had to get up at 4:00am on Sunday to make the start of the Off Road Assault on Mount Mitchell I decided to sleep in today and give you the full report tomorrow. Since I'm not a dick-tease I'll at least give you the goods.

VICTORY!!!!!

Of course I'll talk about ORAMM the rest of the week.

So much to cover

So little time

Here's some stuff I figured you should know.

Our friend Harlan Price has been selected to represent the US and A at the Marathon World Championship in Austria. How cool is that? If I read everything correctly USACycling DOES NOT help with the expenses of getting there. I mighta heard that you even have to buy your own US and A jersey to wear while racing. As far as I know Harlan's going, so that means he's going on his own dime. Where did my bailout money go?? I thought USACycling got their share of the TARP money. Maybe he'll be so excited about his inclusion in this stellar international event that he'll actually blog about it... probably not.

Harlan's dog has never been to Austria. So sad.

Todd Branham (Blue Ridge Adventures promoter) is going to be experimenting this year at ORAMM. From the ORAMM blog (yes, the race has become self aware and writes its very own blog):

GPS Race Tracker

We're going to be testing out a new thing this year...GPS tracking. A handful of the top riders will be equipped with a GPS unit that will track their movements on a fancy little computer program. This should allow us to give spectators an accurate idea of when the top finishers will be crossing the finish line. Pretty cool. Thanks to AMB i.t. (Champion Chip) for making this possible. We look forward to seeing how this new technology will work for backcountry mountain biking.


Tracking the top racers? How cool for folks like Sam Koerber, Garth Prosser, Andy Applegate, and the like. The whole world will know just how awesome they are this Sunday in a live, almost VStv kinda way.

Well this morning I got this email:

Hi all (and Rich Dillen),

We are trying something new this year and asking some of the top riders (and Rich Dillen) to wear GPS tracking devices. This is made possible to AMB it (Champion Chip) who is testing the new technology. Your family and friends (and blogstalkers) at home, as well as us at the finish line (greedily drinking all the beer) will be able to track your progress live on the internet. Live coverage will be available on http://spectator.sport-track.com/34165_ORAMM_2009. We will be calling you out at the starting line to pick up the device in the 30 minutes preceding the race so the units maintain ultimate charge as long as possible (for slower riders like Rich Dillen).

Todd Branham
Blue Ridge Adventures
Long Cane Trails, LLC

So that means you can follow the race (AND ME) live this Sunday starting at 8:00am here (the course is already up). You, the blog fan (or hater) will be able to sit in the comfort of your home and cheer for me (or boo and heckle me). Live vicariously through my deeds represented by a blip on a screen. It will be better than being there. Wonder how heavy/bulky that thing is??

In other news...

I was expecting the Meatplow to show up yesterday via the brown bus. The Pie (who works from home) called me at 1:40 to tell me that while she was vacuuming the yellow note got left on the door.

Checked off were "first attempt" and what she told me over the phone was "left at front door" and "left at back door". She did not see my bike at either door, and was wondering where my bike was. I flipped out, got to a computer, checked the tracking, and it was listed as "delivered" and "left at RR door". I called UPS and they said "look around, sometimes the driver will hide it". Awesome. Call The Pie back, but she can't answer because she's on a business call... Tick, tick, tick...

I'm pretty much convinced my bike was stolen in the short amount of time it was outside. When The Pie called me back I asked her to walk around the house and look a little more closely for a LARGE BLACK BIKE CASE WEIGHING 45 POUNDS. I waited on the other end of the line as she crept around the house looking for my box before I heard the words "There it is".

The Meatplow is back.

I'm ready for the race now. I got everything I need.

By the way, saw this on Gwad's site, and felt it was worth a look see. You can keep you Aarron McSkillet, give me an emo kid with no helmet, big testicles, and no respect for his own life and limb.



LATE UPDATE: It would seem that Todd has helped me figure out who my competition will be. The only other single speeder with a chip (lower right) is Geoffrey Bergmark, winner of the 12 Hours of Tsali this year. Ahhhh, the wonders of the interweb.

He da big feller, idn't he?

Making ORAMM plans...

or not.

Yeah, there's been a lack of ORAMM hype around here this week. Not sure what that's about. I have been thinking about it, but to be honest I've been pretty scatterbrained about when it comes to ORAMM this year. The Meatplow gets back into town VIA the brown bus today, so at least tonight I'll have a little bit of focus. Other than that my brain is just everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Mike Piazza (coach, general manager, chef, soigneur, attorney, directeur sportif, mascot, and financial planner at Bad Idea Racing) has been voicing his concerns regarding my lack of proper preparedness for the biggest race on the international cycling calender. He thinks we should be going in with a plan since ORAMM will once again be race radio free, and he will not be able to talk to me from the support vehicle. To say he is disappointed with my lackadaisical attitude would be an understatement.
"What gear you gonna run this year Dick? You know the 19 hasn't failed you for the past two years... perhaps we, errrr I mean you, should ramp it up with an 18 tooth. Stick it to them, y'know. Perhaps a 22 tooth like you ran at Breck Epic, spin up those mountains like Lance... unnnhhh more like the Schleck brothers."

"What about a nutrition plan Dick? Did you snag a lot of Hammer product from the Breck Epic like I told you to? This is all you came back with? Doesn't matter, with a cool name like Hammer I'm sure this will be enough. Where's the Hammer? Here comes the Hammer!!! Do you think they make Hammer pants in my size? When is Hammer gonna make a single speed specific flavor, like PBR or Ramen Noodle?"

"What are you gonna carry Dick? I know you've done this race with zero mechanicals for four years, but you gotte be prepared Dick. What if the Italians throw a frame pump through your front wheel? Where's your spoke wrench? You gotta be ready for the Italians. They keep saying on Cyclingnews.com that this is their year to take the single speed category at ORAMM. Did you know that? Cyclingnews.com don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. You know they hate you over there, don't you. Buncha nihilistic pricks."

"Have you googled your competition yet Dick? What do mean there's too many names to google? You've got all the time in the world at work, what with the recession and all. You ain't got nothing better to do, and you're bored. What, do you think you're the only one who can toss in an Axl Rose quote? You know I'd google them for you, but my hands are permanently affixed to my baseball glove. We need intel boy. We must figure out who amongst these names are linked to the Italians."

"What are you gonna wear Dick? Go with the brilliant blue MOOTSkit and let the world know you're coming out... I mean coming after them? Go with the stealth black Johnny Cash business suit and take the sex, drugs, and rock and roll kit to the podium? Want me to put in a phone call to MOOTSheadquarters and demand the MOOTSkinsuit? You know people fear skinsuits. Think you could lose those extra six pounds and get down to your summer bathing suit weight? Nobody's gonna be afraid of a pregnant toothpick."

I think I might need some help. My eye is on the prize, but my other eye is on... well let's just say I got a Marty Feldman thing going on here and leave it at that.

Despite all rumors Bad Idea Racing WILL NOT be sponsoring Lance's team next year. I might be able to hook him up with a few Awesome Straps, but that's about it.

Can I get any better looking?

Every year I wonder what to wear when hunting season comes to my neck of the woods. I thought I would be safe this year wearing the brilliant blue MOOTS jersey I got this spring, but as luck would have it the North Carolina Game Commission has decided to have an open season on the brilliant blue warbler since it's population is getting outta hand in Pisgah.

Human VS brilliant blue warbler conflicts are on the rise, and three hikers have had their shiny set of keys lifted from their packs and one Boy Scout had his retainer come up missing from his tent (this is still under investigation since it involves a minor). Not wanting to be mistaken for a brilliant blue warbler I was just going to avoid Pisgah as long as the brilliant blue warbler hunters were out there with their shotguns (with an additional weekend reserved for crossbow enthusiasts). Twin Six musta got the memo, and to show their concern they sent me one of their new designs (in hunter safety orange).

This is the M.O.R.C. jersey and matching set of bibs. It takes a few fashion cues from one of my old favorite jerseys (The Buck) with the addition of a SLEEVELESS option and some props to the group that is responsible for a creating, improving and maintaining the trails in Minnesota.

They added another coveted piece of gear to my wardrobe in my fluffy package of happy.

Elden (Fatty) has been on my mind a lot lately. His wife Susan has been having a pretty tough go at it lately, and I just can't get their situation off my mind sometimes. That's all I can really say about that without going off the deep end with a bunch of sad thoughts that clog my head from time to time when ever the topic of cancer goes through my head, but suffice to say I will wear this jersey A LOT with pride.

It's got all the colors of my rainbow in it; pink, black, and white. It's as sleeveless as the day is long (once again, I still don't get what that means), and since it's mostly black it's very slimming. I do feel a little strange sporting the jersey of a fellow blogger, but we all know Fatty's is a blogger of a higher order. You know I'd wear a 2009 Bad Idea Racing jersey if Pete-unh would have ever stopped working so hard selling bikes, bars, cogs and whatnot trying to feed his family and spent some thankless, non-profit time designing it... whatever.

Since the 2009 "season" is almost over I've all but given up on a Bad Idea Racing jersey this year. Next year I'm thinking about having some kind of design competition. Maybe take submissions in December, have a poll in January, take orders in February, and then by Spring we could have shit ton of Dick Supporters riding around in the woods for 2010. Sound good??

Isn't there a race this weekend?

MOOTS Factory Tour

As I mentioned awhile back when I was in Steamboat Springs before the Breck Epic I stayed under the roof of the MOOTSfactory. I didn't actually sleep in the factory, but a few stories higher than the shop floor in the "executive suite". After spending some time acclimatizing to the elevation of the third floor Pete-unh and I were given the MOOTS Factory Tour on the first floor. Spectacular. Pete-unh and I asked a lot of questions, we and got a lot of answers on our tour that lasted a bit longer than the average tour. The problem is that the tour was almost three weeks ago, and I have the attention span of a hamster. I can only remember a little of what was said, but with the help of all the photos Pete-unh took I think I can piece it together for you.

I had to wait until Sears delivered my Craftmatic bed to the "executive suite" before I could take the tour. The original bed was nice and all, but there's just no beating a Craftmatic. Did I mention Craftmatic is a new sponsor here at Bad Idea Racing?

All right, the Sears guy left, so we could get back to business. I just love my Craftmatic bed, by the way.

This was either the recycling bin at the MOOTSfactory or my new travel frame in progress. Very few customers actually have the opportunity to cash in on the lifetime warranty, and recently a customer called about his cracked FIFTEEN YEAR OLD FRAME. He wanted a warranty, and yes, that's what he will get. That's pretty sweet.

Once inside we were greeted with a huge wall covered in ti tubes. These things vary in price from $60+ dollars a foot to $90+ a foot (if I remember right). By my rough estimations that wall has over one billion dollars in tubing hanging on it.

"Pffffttttttt.... titanium. What a bunch of hosers."

This is either the MOOTS Margarita Machine or the really cool tool they use to miter some of the tubes. I seem to remember there was salt all over the floor and a pile of limes on the bench, so I'm going with the margarita machine.

On the floor are all the cool tube benders and up on that shelf (and the one above just outta the photo) are the nifty little jigs they use to check to ensure the bending of the stays is perfect. Once the stays fall nicely into the jig they are locked into place and mitered in two's as a happy pair. Wow, I remembered something.

I think this is one of the three machines that MOOTS uses to create all their little bits and pieces outta hunks of raw ti and aluminum. They do most of their machine work in house. Well, it's either that or the back of the vending machine than serves up nothing but Hunny Buns.

This is where they keep the MOOTSgimp locked up (note his extended feeding tray prepared to accept the gimps breakfast at top). They only break him out for the annual Christmas party. The gimp knows how to party and he can also play a mean accordian.

This machine which is almost 100 years old and as big as a baby elephant serves only one purpose at the MOOTSfactory....

it cuts the slots in the back of MOOTS stems. Seriously, that's all it does.

"You still don't get it, do you? That's what it does! It's *all* it does! You can't stop it! It'll wait for the stems! It'll reach down your throat and tear your f*#king heart out to get to them! It hates stems."

I think these were MOOTS ti coffee creamers they're working on for Interbike. Be sure to get in line early, as quantities will be limited.

This is either a poorly assembled soft serve machine or an Anvil frame jig. Considering the propensity of the MOOTSfolk towards sweets (as evidenced by the giant Hunny Bun vending machine) I'm going with the soft serve.

These were just hiding in a lonely corner beside the gimp cage. I guess let argons be argons....

Matty's been welding at MOOTS for over a decade, but when no one is looking he just sits there staring out the window wishing he was outside playing on the swingset.

What I did actually bring home from the MOOTS Tour:

I did ask a lot of questions. When we were looking at all the ti tubes I asked about the difference in quality from different ti sources (Russia, China, America). MOOTS gets their ti tubes from Haynes (here in the States), but they had a sample of a cheap ti down tube that I was able to look at. Normally you (the consumer) don't get to look down the inside of a tube, but I did. Looking down the inside of a cheap ti tube you can see lots of wavy weird shit going on. I can imagine (in my very non-expert opinion) that the wavy tube is pretty inconsistent in quality, and when compared to the Haynes ti it just looked scary. The Haynes down tube looked like shotgun barrel, smooth, geometrically perfect... just neat-o.

There are a lot of steps in the MOOTS process of making frames. They don't just measure the tubes, cut and miter them, and take a welding rod to them. There were many in between steps, steps I had hoped to remember when I would get around to writing this, but alas I took no notes and retained very little information in my head. Along the way as we followed the process from start to finish I would ask "Is this a step that another company could skip in the name of saving a few dollars and keeping costs down?" The usual answer was "yes". MOOTS really sweats the details when it comes to getting a perfect miter, super clean surfaces to work with, double pass welds, QC checks all over the place, just meticulous methods all over the place and a staff that has been around for a long time. It was hard to find an employee that hadn't been with MOOTS for more than a decade. I felt like I had a greater appreciation of what makes the difference between a $1,700 ti frame and a $3,000 ti frame. Sure, some of it is materials related, some of it is having the proper tools to do a thorough job, but the biggest cost and most important thing seems to be time.

I'm a bike geek. I was wowed and amazed. Anybody can go on the tour, so if you really wanna see how a quality bike is built from the drawing all the way to getting it's decals (and you happen to be in the vicinity of the MOOTSfactory), stop by (during normal business hours) and get the full tour. Just be sure to bring some change since the dollar slot in the Hunny Bun machine is out of order.

Hopefully I didn't give out too much misinformation in this post, but when there's not enough information I believe you can make up for it with a double dose of misinformation.

Bad Idea ORAMM Training

I knew when I left Colorado last week I would be getting one more weekend ride in before ORAMM reared it's ugly head. I decided to ship my bike back as opposed to flying with it to save some major dollars, so the fact that the Meatplow was still in transit meant I had three choices this weekend when it came to ride options:

Go for a TdF inspired road ride? Every year around this time I feel the urge to ride my road bike. I'm not sure if it's my recent lack of TdF viewing or the fact that my 8spd down tubed shifter 20lb SPD pedaled road bike is so far removed from anything I see at the TdF, but I just couldn't bring myself to hit the road looking for a field of sunflowers to ride through.

Grab my old Thylacine fixed gear urban assault vehicle and go explore? Nah, I wasn't in the mood for it, and since I ride the bike at work all the time I really have to be inspired (forced to ride it because of wet trails).

Take the yet to be named Zion to a local trail and ride twenty or so miles trying to forget how cool it was to ride the trails in Colordao for eight or nine days?

The last option seemed most viable, until The Pie told me that she had plans on Saturday. She was going to the pool at the YMCA to meet up with a friend so the kids could play and the women folk could talk about girl stuff... things like curtains, baking, and how stupid men are for not wanting to talk about curtains and baking. I was free for the whole day.

Bill Nye had called me earlier in the week and asked me if I wanted to go the mountains. "How could I even think about going to the mountains when I've been gone for thirteen days?" I replied. Well now I found myself calling Bill Nye back and suggesting a mountain trip, and not just any mountain trip. Why not go ride the two major loops that make up ORAMM, Kitsuma and Heartbreak Ridge?

Bill Nye was in, as was Leyonce and Skidaladophy. We were going to ride the Star Gap/Curtis Creek Road, Blue Ridge Parkway, Heartbreak loop, and if time allowed we would head over to Kitsuma. Everything was set, and apparently I forgot a bunch of stuff I would have wished I wouldn't have forgotten.

The last time I rode my yet to be named Zion I had a bad experience on Heartbreak Ridge. Soon after that ride I had the frame powder coated and built it up as a spare bike for just such an occasion... that occasion being my inability to put my hands on the Meatplow. I had forgotten how much I hate riding my suspension fork down the switchback laden, exposed, off camber trails. It had also slipped my mind that when I locked my Fox fjork out it was actually WAY STIFFER than my steel rigid fork, which means I have to grip the bars even harder to compress the way too squishy grips that are on the bike. So I can either ride a flexy, squishy front end or a solid unforgiving front end. My choice.

I had never really ridden the bike since I built it back up... just tooled around a little bit on the road to assure myself that it wouldn't fall apart. I never gave any thought to the condition the brakes were in when I installed them. Apparently it has been a long time since I've done anything to them, and they were pretty useless as a device which should serve the purpose of arresting my forward movement. The front 8" rotor should have been able to deliver massive amounts of stopping power, but it was actually slightly less effective than dragging my foot. If you've never ridden the long and sometimes steep descent down Heartbreak let me assure you that functional brakes are a must if you want to have a good (not scary) time.

Could I have made things worse for myself? Sure. Over the last three or four years the single speed class at ORAMM has been won on a 32X19 (on a 29'er of course). I figured why not turn it up to 11 and try it with a 32X18... and on a bike that weighs a bunch more than my normal bike... and I'll add on a hydration pack that I normally wouldn't carry... and I'll try to forget that I'm still not fully recovered from the Breck Epic.... and I'll underestimate the time I'll be out there and only bring three mini Cliff bars to eat...

Let's just say it was a long day in the woods. I would run the fjork locked out until my hands hurt and then run it unlocked until I shit my pants. Then I would repeat that process multiple times till I got to the bottom and emptied my bibs out. How did the 32X18 work out? That will be a secret until next weekend. Either way I've got a couple of the major climbs in my head, and that's gotta count for something, right?

Time to get that tracking number and see how close my MOOTS is to Charlotte.

I got other shit to do

I weigh more now than I did when I left for Colorado. Let me say that again, I weigh more now than I did when I left for Colorado. Of course I've got the most important race on the international cycling calender on the brain right now, and I can't get over the fact that I weigh more now than I did when I left for Colorado. Guess all that sport eating I did with Pete-unh caught up with me. Also, I'm still waiting for the Superman effect that I'm supposed to feel after returning from altitude... impatiently. Oh well, maybe if I get lucky I won't win at ORAMM in nine days, and in 2010 I won't feel compelled to return which will allow me to spend more time on my upcoming book signing tour. I didn't actually write a book, but I was thinking that if you printed off my Breck Epic blog from mountainbike.com and brought it before me I would consider autographing it. I would only do this for you, of course.

I'll be MOOTSless this weekend. The Meatplow is somewhere within the confines of a brown truck somewhere between Steamboat Springs and Charlotte right about now. I guess it's finally time to break in the Drake powder coat job on the yet to be named Zion.

Maybe I'll get a little riding in on a suspension fork just to confuse my brain a bit before the big race. Anyways, shitty post, but since I'm gonna be out late tonight and up at 5:00am to ride tomorrow I gotta get my shit in order NOW.

Did you know that when you let off the brakes at altitude you gain speed much faster on the descents than at sea level? I wouldn't have believed it, but I wasn't the only one who thought so. Freaky.