What, no mustard?

This morning I will head out the door early for the annual Ride with the Mayor. This event is the official kick-off of Bike Charlotte.

The ride is short, like one mile short. I still feel there is some importance in showing up, letting the mayor (and whoever else is paying attention) know that people of Charlotte DO ride their bikes IN Charlotte. I'm not saying I support all of the mayor's politics nor am I saying I'm that I'm really into the free breakfast... although I did run out of oatmeal yesterday. Seventeen days of bicycle related events in the 704. This day it just happens to end in the same place that I work.

Hooray bikes.

The blogger's contest is going well. The hard part is that it will last a-whole-fucking-nother month. Once I tap all my resources getting more votes will be next to impossible. So I'll bug everybody once and awhile here and hope for the best there. If you haven't voted all ready, head over to facebook and do so now. Send me to the Pisgah Mountain Bike Stage Race and make both of us happy.

Big news on the Trans-Sylvania Epic front. There's a lot of information there to absorb, but the coolest thing is flaik. What's flaik? Basically it means live tracking of each rider's position on the course. You'll be able to "watch" the race from home, and thanks to something called geofencing you'll be able to enjoy keeping up with Dave "Fourth Place" Cormier as he wanders off course each and every day. There are some other tidbits over on MTBRacenewscom; course improvements, sponsors, cyclingdirt coverage... go read it.

This weekend?

If things go as planned, I'll make it to the mountains for my first and only ride with my 2011 PMBAR partner Zac Avant before the event.

We will focus on team building skills, navigation, compatibility, the lyrics to The Final Countdown, and hatred for the other teams...especially Emily and Thad. No real good reason to hate on them, since they are not a threat, but they did try to keep their alliance a secret from me, and I hate secrets. There are plenty of real threats to deal with. The pasty white bearded hill people are gonna be there, the Antique Gun Show with Carey Lowery, Little E and Molasses Hance, K**tz and BrouSSard, Kee and Fusco, and also the freaking Koerbers (Sam and Grandpa Bob... those Koerber's are like rabbits). I've finished behind most of them at one time or another. Shit, it's gonna be hard to pull out a win this year. Meh. Good thing I've got a lot of hate to go around.

Second to Sam Koerber and Brad Kee in 2008.

Second to Wes (leader of the pasty white bearded hill people) in 2009.

We can just forget about last year. It doesn't count.

This is the year that Fink beats The Stomach.

Half eaten weenies don't count.

This is weenie war.



And yeah, I should be in Arizona tomorrow, but I won't be.

Get ready for the Monday you deserve.

The Virtual Tour of my bike room continues (as your lack of participation dictated):

"Part Three: What's in the Big Blue Bins?"

"Are those my missing panties?"

Rally the Facetroops

How did yesterday's ride go?

I'll get to that later.

The big news is that all the votes originally cast on the Pisgah Mountain Bike Stage Race blogger's contest (AKA PMBSRBC) have been nulled and voided. Apparently surveymonkey.com can have issues with people casting multiple votes. I learned some new vocabulary words in this process; "proxy server" and "cookies." Cookies was already in my top ten vocabulary words which includes beer, sex, sandwich, boobies, pizza, and four more words for boobies.

But that's not the kind of cookies we're talking about.

As one of the contestants so eloquently put it on his/her blog:

"Check my blog updates often and re-vote. There is no limit to your voting either, and don't think the competition ingnores that."

Therein lies the rub, granted that's the logic that got the whole pro peleton on the juice.

It's not that someone may have cast multiple votes for themselves nor was the casting of multiple votes against the original rules to begin with. It's just that it isn't in the spirit of the contest, and rather than have it happen I guess they decided to go with another voting site.

I know some of you don't facebook, but understand that by putting it on facebook, people only have one vote. Nice and tidy.

So if you are a facebooker, please go here and vote. If you are not a facebooker, I'm guessing you didn't get half the jokes in my last Dirt Rag article. Too bad.

Be sure to share your vote, ask your cycling friends to join in on the vote, and print fliers to stick on telephone poles all over your neighborhood.

About yesterday's ride...

I did not get up at 5:00am to go for a ride.

It was 4:38am.

I had trouble sleeping knowing that I had a big ride in the dark when I got out of bed, so I gave up trying to sleep. I headed out the door after my oatmeal and knocked out a couple hours around town. I got lost twice... maybe three times, but I don't know.

I ended up on a road that dead ended at the Lance Cracker factory. The entrance looked like Fort Knox (or at least what I picture Fort Knox to look like from all those cartoons I watched as a kid). All in all, a good first effort. Remember, I'm only doing this until the Trans-Sylvania Epic, so just four more of these pre-dawn ride/no blog days left to go.

One more thing...

It's time again for the Granogue's Big Bike Gear Drawing that benefits the HERA Women's Cancer Foundation.

Tons of bike prizes up for grabs (including an EWR frame) and only $5 for a raffle ticket (price breaks at 5, 12 and 25). Your ticket will be purchased through BikeReg with credit card or paypal.

Do I know a woman with cancer right now?

Oh yeah, my mom.. and Jen.

Buy a ticket...

and vote for me.

Stuff I missed, and stuff from Swiftwick, Genuine Innovations, and Thad

The bad news is that my fitness is at an all time low for late April.

The good news is that I've found new motivation to get in shape. Realizing that I am nowhere near burnt out, I can start the burn out process ASAP.

The bad news (for you) and the good news (for me) is that once a week I will be getting up at 5:00am and going for a road ride. This also means that I'll be cutting back to four day blog weeks UNTIL the Trans-Sylvania Epic is behind me. I've got to do something to beat these guys (and girl):

If all goes according to plan (no rain at 5:00am tomorrow), I'll be mounting up my lights and heading out into the darkness in less than 22.5 hours. If it rains, I'll reschedule the ride. I either get paid to ride in the rain or else I've paid a non-refundable entry fee. There are very few exceptions to this rule.

Since I'm going to be taking a day off, and I'm way behind, prepare for a big dump of unrelated information.

My mud encrusted legs were used to promote a race that has nothing to do with the image used in the promotion of said race.

The actual image is from TSE, the photo taken by A.E. Landes, and the snot hanging out of my nose was cropped out in the brochure.

WTF?

Other news I uncovered...

The single speed winner of the 6 Hours of Warrior Creek, Tim Finkel, is a doper...

or at least the single speed version of a doper.

Moto-pacing? Eeesshhhh. Sobriety, moto-pacing, coaches...we need to make a list for the SS-WADA. Non-structured, pre-dawn road rides will not be put on the list.

When I came home from the beach I found some boxes of happy waiting for me. Thad the Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time Marsupial procured me something that no other man could.

He originally turned me onto them, I already have two of them on my Meatplow, and now I have one for the Superbeast.

If you ride a small frame and actually get thirsty, the Specialized Z-Cage is the cage for you. So nice to be able to pull out a bottle AND get it back in without dropping it.. eh Kelly? Now all I need to do is get out and ride this bike once and awhile.

I also got my long lost copy of Dirt Rag #155 VIA USPS Priority Mail.

Apparently my name was dropped off "the list" but has now been put back on the list and shall also be put on the Bicycle Times list. The benefits of being a "contributor," I guess. I think issue #155 was more full of bike stuff than any previous issue I've gotten in the past, but I have no hard data to back that up. Of course there's another article from me in there that's worth reading, but most of you have already read it weeks ago.

Those socks I keep talking about but not really sharing details regarding what makes them so special? You know, the top secret Swiftwick socks I've been dreaming about for years?

Remember when I mentioned how much I loved my new 2" Aspires (you don't have to remember since I linked it for you)? What made me happy was the new linked toe (no seams).

What made me unhappy was the unfortunate 2" cuff length. Well, I guess I bitched enough or some might say "too much."

First of all, the great news is that I now have a 4" sock with no seam on the toe. The bad news is that I can hardly give an unfettered review when Grant sends the socks to me with a coupon for a free Kid's Size Icedream from Chik-Fil-A. Seriously, if they don't call the new sock "The Bagel Puncher" I think it will sell millions. If they do call it "The Bagel Puncher" they will sell billions. It is my new favorite sock... too bad you can't buy them yet.

I would include a photo, but I don't have one at the moment. The socks are currently back in the bedroom, and The Pie is sleeping. They look just like the 2" sock... just 2" taller. Use your imagination.

I also got a box from Genuine Innovations when I returned home. Although the box was just addressed to a generic "Rich Dillen" I knew they must love me. Inside were the goodies.

The new Air Chuck Elite. I think it should be called the Air Chuck Elitist, but that's just me. Anyways, lighter than the old Elite by 25% which means I will be that much faster this year without even trying. Also included were a couple GI tire levers to replace the ones I handed to riders in need out on the course that were never returned or returned in more than one piece.

I also got a fresh supply of CO2's for the 2011 season, including the new fat20.

According to the GI press release, this CO2 will get a 2.1 29er tire up to 43PSI. I will have to tinker with one and see where it will get me in a 2.35 Rampage before I make the call to put this in my Awesome Strap Race, but I have a good feeling it will get me well over 20PSI (where I'd wanna be with a tube in my front tire).

I also put in a special non-racer boy request for patches.

Being that I finally used up the 100 patches I bought eons ago, I asked for a refill. This should see me through another decade or so of messenger work.

Hope that tides you over for now.

See you Thursday (or tomorrow if it's raining).

Two weeks and still no mountain bike riding

Most times I go ahead and bring my bike on family vacations, and it just sits in the corner reminding me of how lazy I am. This time it was going to be even harder since I actually have a laptop now AND there was internet in the room.

But The Pie chose our location wisely, and I made a proper equipment choice. We had stayed at Amelia Island before in 2007, but that time I brought my mountain bike. There are mountain bike trails on the island, but the technical features are spiders, snakes, sandy corners, teflon coated leaves, and humidity.

Nuts to that.

Friday morning I broke out the road bike and the new Bike29 team kit.

I told you it looked better on me than the rest of the team. Here's the view most of you will see this year.

The ride was typical coastal fare complete with crosswinds, except there were bike lanes and wide shoulders the whole way. Despite the fact that it was spring break, traffic was at a minimum.

A "climb" (also known as a "bridge") looms in the distance.

Friday's ride was an out and back with a few detours. I spent some time trying to get some Kerkovian shots, which managed to entertain me for fifteen or so odd minutes.

Heads...

or tails?

I detoured down a gravel road looking for a wildlife sanctuary, but found nothing open to the public aside from a trail that said "bikes and walkers only."

Amelia Island single track.

Although I now own two pairs of the best sock ever made (which I haven't talked about yet), I opted for the Performance Dual Colors since they matched my outfit so well. Road rides are 95% looking good, 4% feeling good, and 1% riding good (not well).

BTW: Camelbak Chill bottles... the best thing to happen to road riding since Fignon's pony tail. No opening/closing a sticky bottle, just grab it and drink, and my beverage stays cold twice as long, but unfortunately not four times as long.

46.something miles ended with beer and frustration. The hotel bottle opener was lame and mostly useless, but thanks to my TSE Timbuk2 Hemlok's built-in bottle opener I was able to fully recover.

Optimal chow location.

There was little point in going beyond this point.

On Saturday I went for a repeat performance. A 40 mile out and back turned into a 45 mile out and back when I pushed my turn around point out by 2.5 miles. All was well until I realized it had been four hours since I ate breakfast, I had brought only water, and I was still 18 miles from the hotel. Luckily I found this lying in the road.

Open?

Yes.

3/4 eaten?

Yes.

Bugs?

No.

Yes, I ate them, and I was thankful that somebody was kind enough to drop them where I could find them.

Thanks for letting me take a vacation. I have to say it was one of the more pleasant non-cycling oriented trips I've been on.

See you Monday (in a virtual sense)

Odd.

Just a few days ago I felt as if I were falling behind here... in terms of writing and keeping up with current goings on.

Now I've got nothing. In an effort to squeeze it all out before my sabbatical, I musta squoze too hard. It's been over a month since I last rode the Superbeast. That makes me sad. It has been two months exactly since my last ride in the mountains. This makes me sadder.

The road bike will be my friend over this long weekend. The closest I will come to mountain biking will be the inaugural wearing my Bike29/RIDE BIG WHEELS kit, which I think looks better on me than the rest of the team.

It's not that George looks bad in his new kit. I just that I look much better in mine. Notice that George is pulling the "one knee warmer" fashion trick outta my bag. I thought that I had it copyrighted. I'm sure my royalty check is on the way.

For all of you that were bothering me, as if I were someone of authority, wanting to know just what was up at Backcountry Research and why you couldn't buy a strap while they were on vacation...

They are back from their hiatus and the new strap they were working on is available. The Hitch is a hypalon version of the Race Strap for all of yinzers that are looking for that kinda thing. The Tülbag (pronounced tūl-bahg), or as Montana likes to think of it, "The Most Technologically Advanced Coin Purse in the World" is still not ready for public consumption.

Excess baggage and the blissful ignorance of youth

I got something in the mail yesterday that had nothing to do with sponsors, upgrades for the Meatplow, or my copy of Dirt Rag ed155 (you know, the one everyone else has had for weeks). I'm not sure what to make of it.

Former 2011 PMBAR partner Elk sent me a big box of cookies. Either he knows that I was sad when he told me he wouldn't be coming down in May, thus depriving me of his Snickerdoodles, or he wants to sabotage Zac and I's efforts to win PMBAR by making me fat. $10.95 to ship so many cookies, and this morning there is only one left.

Junior endurance single speeder Montana Miller finally figured something out for himself. He had been carrying around an 8lb mini tool while racing in a strap that is less than awesome, but he's grown a big boy brain and pitched it for a more pared down kit.

Old stupid tool on right, new stupid tools on left (young stupid tool taking photo).

Notice that although the youth has opted to not carry a 6mm wrench, he does have a 6mm bolt in his Niner EBB that will come lose at some point if only for the fact that he has opted to not carry the appropriate wrench to tighten said bolt.

Never one to settle for status quo I decided to review what I carry around at races.

First of all, my workstand allen keys were looking a bit worse for wear. I swapped them out for my emergency tools and went out and bought new allen keys. Realizing that I don't carry an 8mm for things like pedals and crank bolt(s), instead of just settling for nothing as young Montana did, I dug around my tools and found a quick solution.

I took the 8mm adapter from an old Park mini-tool and "bingo." When I see Montana standing at the side of the trail with his pedal in his hand I will ride by holding out my new, lightweight 8mm solution and taunt him. FYI: That is not the final version of the Tülbag (pronounced tūl-bahg) in the above image, but an early prototype Tülbag. Final production versions will be similar in that they will be either square, rectangular, or rhombus, there will be a zipper, and the color will be dark in tone.

I considered improving upon my current chain tool, and I found this in a box of sundrious mini tool parts.

Effective, tiny, cooler than Montana's, but still heavier and less multi-tasking than what I carry already.

The tool in the center is a combination chain tool/tire lever from an old Giro mutli-tool made back in 1993. Snapped together it looks like this:

The Bondhus head allens were a PITA to use. The spoke wrench was pretty cool since it grabbed the spoke on four sides, but it won't slide around a fat aluminum spoke... something that didn't really exist in 1993. The chain tool/tire lever is a brilliant piece of engineering, and it fits nicely in an Awesome Strapped tube.

One other important thing. I know plenty of people that wrap their tools up in a spare tube and mount the whole mess to their bikes with Awesome Straps. I do not do that, and here is why.

If I have a flat on the course I want to break out my flat repair stuff, and only my flat repair stuff. I don't want to have to keep track of all the little tools I toss aside while working on the side of the trail. Also, if all I need to do is adjust my headset, seatpost height, tighten a loose bolt (you get the point), I don't want to have to unfurl my tube just to get to my tools.

Enter the Tülbag.

One more day before my four day sabbatical.

Planning to plan a plan to have a plan (sooner or later)

The plan fell apart. There is no denying it, and I'll have to just make do with the fact that I need a new plan, but I'm currently only in the process of planning a new plan.

I was supposed to win the Topeak Ergon Basecamp contest. I was then going to use the upcoming basecamp as an excuse to use April to gain some fitness in preparation for the basecamp to be able to take advantage of all the awesome riding in Sedona. Then I was going to try to retain that fitness through May until the Trans Sylvania Epic.

I know this is similar to using a "new year's resolution" to motivate one's self towards a goal based on an arbitrary calender event. One can resolve to make a change in their own life at any point in the year, but it is nice to have some external catalyst. I was bound and determined to make shit happen starting April 1st.

That shit hasn't happened, but I've had some great excuses. Last week the Canadians were in town. Beer, food, and slow conversational rides were on order.

This weekend was the annual adoption conference in Charlotte, and I am eternally committed to holding down the fort while The Pie attends said conference. As primary parent for the weekend, riding had to take a backseat.

I did get out yesterday morning for a cycling related activity... one that Fajita was able to take part in.

Yes, it was time to do my best to continue with my failed "one trailwork day a month" initiative. I missed March, but April was a no-brainer. Mark Sullivan (owner of the Cycle Path bike shop in Cornelius, NC) was heading up a work day at Fisher Farm, a trail system that he meticulously maintains... with the help of others, of course.

That's Mark on the right laying a blessing down on the freshly peeled cedar log before we bury it in a shallow grave.

I have no before pictures of the work we did before we did it. What we started with was a small drop-in that had eroded to shit, but by the time we were done it was a kick-ass and laboriously hard to achieve feature that should hold up to some weather.

Drop to the left, roll to the right.

All the cedar logs we "installed" were held tight by six foot rebar which was painstakingly pounded into the ground with an effort that I would equate to interval work. Here I am looking for a place to lay down after putting the "pole pounder" to task.

Not many pictures were taken during the actual work done on the second project, but when we finished we had put into place a skinny qualifier to the entrance of the black diamond section.

It's a family type park as well as a MTB trail, and even though most of the features aren't terribly advanced to the average rider this should serve to warn the less skilled riders that they may be on their way to getting over their heads soon.

And an "in progress" photo for scale purposes.

By the time I got home The Pie had finished up at the conference, so I headed over to Belmont, NC for a road ride with the Robs.

Rob 1 in the lead looking very triathlete'esque in a sleeveless option and non-black shorts, while Rob 2 was sporting the new PMBAR jersey and the latest in high top, rubber lugged road shoe technology.

I was wearing my new Swiftwick socks, not the cool ones that you don't know about yet, but the new dual color flashy Four Performance.

It is difficult to take photos of one's feet while one is pedaling one's bike.

Even harder to do is timing the shot in order to get the Industry Nine logo on the front hub in the photo while keeping the Camelbak bottle in frame. How does Kerkove pull this shit off?.

These are not the new socks you want to know about. I have not worn those new socks yet, except for around the house. I was sucked into the new dual colors, even though they lack the cool desirable feature of my other socks (linked toe, anyone?). Fashion won over function on the day. I couldn't let the Robs outshine me out on the open road.

You know what I like more than an 80 mile road ride hammerfest? A 35 mile roll through the tranquil countryside past lakes and over (central) NC mountains.

Not a very good weekend as far as fitness goes, but with a four day sabbatical starting Thursday I wasn't going anywhere fast soon.

Two more days of blogging, and then I'm out for four.

And my new PMBAR partner is....

Sorry, I've got to mention this first.

I may have misled some folks with my post yesterday regarding Peter sending me a couple teabagged hoodies. I assure you that I received the 2009 pullover edition and the zippered 2010 model. I did not receive the 2011 Darpa Psycles Death Hoodie that Peter has created to celebrate Misfit Psycle's 6.75 year anniversary.

This is one of those items that if you have to ask what it's about then it's not for you. It is $140, but there is a reason it is so expensive.

They take this...

and do this...

to make this:

Order yours today because you can't order one tomorrow (seriously, today is the last day).

Now to the part where I tell you who my 2011 PMBAR partner is going to be.

That, my friends, was good wholesome fun.

Let me introduce you to my young squire, Zachery Avant.

This slightly post pubescent fellow is a local Charlottean, and has been mountain biking for most of his short adult life. I've never ridden with him on a social level, but we have met on the field of battle before.

That's him standing way down there on my left (your right) in the fifth spot of the 2009 ORAMM podium. He's the one wearing jorts.

Zach was only 23 then, but he is a whopping 25 years old now. I'll admit his youth disturbs me, but not because I think he is short on the experience he's going to need to go for a big win at PMBAR. I'm more worried about the fact that he probably won't get all my 80's pop culture references and movie quotes that I will spew all day as we ride around Pisgah.

I believe he has the desire to win and the legs to back it up.

I was not sure if he had any tattoos (a big plus in a partner), but at last night's team meeting he put my mind at ease by displaying the work he recently got done when he read my desired criteria for a partner.

Word to the wise: Don't google image search "hairy tramp stamp." You won't like what you see.

Zach rides with The Dude on epic road rides and mountain torture fests, and is therefore "Dude Approved." Also with Zach being a local we can share a car ride, talk about Charlotte politics, discuss our profound love for the former Charlotte Hornets, and bash the local hipster scene.

To all those that didn't make the cut, consider the fact that Elk has lots of body parts that haven't failed yet, so I may be looking for a new partner about this time next year.

Heal up Elk. There's always 2012.

Any wonder why his retina detached?